• Mon, Jan 28 2013

How To Dominate Your Workplace Like A Psychopath

horrible boss

According to The Daily Mail everyone in charge at your office is a narcissist or a psychopath, or maybe just Machiavellian.They explain:

‘The likelihood of your daily working life being sacrificed by a person who is some mixture of psychopathic, Machiavellian and narcissistic is high. If you do not develop the skills to deal with them, they will eat you for breakfast.’

Huh!

I am always a little bit skeptical of this, because whenever I hear someone rant about how their boss is a shameless narcissist, because he will not let them do whatever they want, I sometimes think to myself “perhaps you are simply bad at remembering the purpose of your job. Perhaps you forgot that people do jobs for money, not so they have a warm lap to climb into and a safe place to be. That is a job description already held by cats.”

However, there are a few examples of behavior of narcissists from the Daily Mail article that I think will prove useful to you. Namely:

An advertising and film executive whom he nicknames ‘Rat’, who introduced a female colleague to another man saying, ‘The last time I saw Suzy she was stark naked’…

He also discloses how an investment banker got his job by fooling the interview panel at a leading American institution into believing that he was an expert in a product he knew nothing about. He then conned his socially insecure boss into believing that he was from an ‘old money’ background by lying about ‘decadent weekends at grand and historic country houses’.

I have deduced from this that the next time you do anything in your office, you should preface it by saying “Hi, [name.] I enjoyed our last bout of lovemaking, and I hope you can accompany me to Manderly next weekend, where I will be demonstrating how to use an orrery. I think it will be fun for everyone!”
Go. Try it. Be free. See how that works.
Picture via Horrible Bosses

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