Like a proper Internet stalker, I stare at James Deen‘s Twitter all day long. I hit refresh in case I’ve missed something, and whenever he does tweet, I kiss the screen, then coo as I run my fingertips over his photo. You know, the photo I keep plastered to the wall next to my desk as if this were the late 80′s and he was a member of New Kids on the Block.
So, when my beloved Deen tweeted the following, I thought: Hey, girl! This is news. You may disagree:
I am completely over talking about lindsay lohan. I am officially getting off the coat tails. This topic bores me
I wrote it just as he did, so please forgive his lack of detail to capitalization and grammar.
But how couldn’t he be? Ever since he was cast in The Canyons with the hot mess that is Lohan, all anyone can do is ask about what it was like working with her. And every time, he’s been eloquent, rational and really forgiving of the bullshit which he had to put up with while on the set with her. Besides, Deen has a career of his own, one that is far more fascinating than whatever the hell Lohan is trying to do these days. So, that’s what people should be asking him about — his career.
On top of his career that’s more than discussion-worthy, he also likes pandas. As he told Slate,Â â€śI do not want to talk about what a girlâ€™s pussy feels like. I want to talk about baby pandas and stuff.â€ť See?
OK, reporters of the world, let’s get our shit together. Everyone needs to quit asking Deen about Lohan, they need to have long thoughtful chats with him about pandas and lastly, give him my number. I really don’t think any of these things are too difficult to accomplish.