• Tue, Jan 29 2013

Like Anne Hathaway, Do We All Have To Go Through ‘A Lot Of Bad Ones’ To Find Love?

Anne-Hathaway-love-Adam-Shulman

I don’t mind Anne Hathaway and I really don’t know much about Adam Shulman, but I do know that the pair look quite happy together (not to mention her wedding dress was awe-some!) and I generally love joyful couples, so I like seeing photos of the pair. It’s just sort of nice to see Anne Hathaway love some kinda sweet, handsome-like-a-Gosling-cousin guy, though she readily admits that this was certainly not her first try at a solid quality of relationship partner.

According to a source over at People, after the SAG Awards on Sunday, Hathaway was trying to play matchmaker all night to other folks and noted that she ”met a lot of bad ones” prior to being with Shulman. The matchmaking sounded fun — who wouldn’t want Anne Hathaway trying to set them up with some random entertaining friend of hers? — but when I read this story, I mostly thought about how frustrating it is to experience numerous unpleasant folks in your dating escapades while searching (both actively or passively) for somebody who doesn’t suck.

In the event you haven’t already gathered this, I’ll sum it up for you briefly: my love life has been a bit of a mess for several years, but I’m finally starting to determine how to best straighten things out so I can stop repeating my stupid mistakes. I, too, have gone through a “lot of bad ones” and, though I am by no means in sight of any form of finish line (not that I really believe there has to be one, actually), I do feel like I am seeing the light in terms of not continuing to be interested in the bad ones, nor feel like those are the only ones I deserve.

It seems like nearly every woman I know, when asked about her past, always sounds more pessimistic about it than the men. This is a gross generalization, I know, but while we often acknowledge that our undone relationships teach us what we don’t want anymore or what to avoid in the future — even if we do not actually do so later on — almost every guy in my life never speaks about his previous relationships as having taught them anything besides lessons on that specific person, rather than relationships as a whole. Then again, this could be a selective thing contained within the group of people that I know, but still: it’s weird, and it makes me wonder if it’s better to focus on the past or to simply move on from it. Or both? I don’t know.

In any case, I hope the best for all of you. I hope none of you actually feel like it’s some sort of rite of passage to have to experience shitty relationships before finding the one you want most, if you even want one at all (it’s okay if you don’t! You’ll spend less money at Christmas and never get locked out of the house by your cat!). Let’s collectively make 2013 the year we all avoid the bad ones. Happy dating, dear Glossers!

Photo: Will Alexander/WENN.com

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  • Candace

    I don’t know if “bad ones” necessarily has to refer to bad men. I think a lot of bad relationships are the result of both people’s failures. Going through “bad ones” can help you learn how to function in a serious relationship and what exactly you need from a partner. And knowing that is important for lifetime commitments like marriage.

    • http://www.facebook.com/sameurysm Samantha Escobar

      This is a great point. She definitely could’ve just meant bad relationships, which would make quite a bit of sense; I think the word “met” just automatically made me think of people, but people can certainly also meet their fates and whatnot.

      While I agree that bad experiences help you learn about relationships, sometimes they’re just overkill on those lessons and you wind up too cautious and too impacted by the past, and that’s when it’s more sad than helpful.

  • MR

    You’re right. Guys tend to view it differently. Though when I was younger I was in a lot of relationships where once we both figured out we weren’t soulmates, the woman too wasn’t looking for commitment either. My open relationships were a lot easier, because there were no parameters.

  • Eileen

    I don’t think it’s necessary, but I have noticed that people who started dating early and had a hard time not being in a relationship have more shitty relationships in their pasts than people who spent more time being single. Is it a cliche? Sure. But you really do have to know and like who you are for yourself before you’re going to pick a person who is right for you.

    On the gender thing – my boyfriend is much tougher on his romantic past than I am on mine – and I do think that’s because he’s spent about two years, cumulative, as a single boy/man in the past twelve years.

  • meteor_echo

    Not necessarily. For me, one abusive relationship was enough. Now I’m on my third and we decided to get married (the second one was a very good person, we just decided to go apart peacefully).

  • Lynne

    I’ve never seen her this happy before in a relationship. I’m happy for her! I root for love.

  • alexandra

    I had a very logical professor named Adam S(c)hulman when I was in college and I just get so much joy picturing him married to Anne Hathaway.