• Wed, Jan 30 2013

Vice Asks People On The Street If They’d Date Their Dog

Hubbell is undateable. I blame myself.

Hubbell is undateable. I blame myself.

Leave it to Vice to ask a question that you may have never thought of — or maybe you have. In this edition of “Question of the Day” the Vice folks take to the street and ask random people if they’d date their dog. It’s rather fitting this week here at TheGloss, isn’t it? Now that we know the Rachel “I Masturbated a Dog” Roberts story. Overall everyone seemed be down with dating their dog (except for one dude who was really shallow and said his bulldog was ugly.)

If we break it down, dogs are fiercely loyal, protective, masters at cuddling, most would probably die for you if they had to, and they love to play fetch. When was the last time you could convince your partner to die for you or play fetch with you? I’ve spent half my adult life trying to get the men I’ve dated to play fetch with me, and it’s no sale every time. I’m not telling them they need to catch the ball with their mouth like a dog, it’s just a suggestion.

I don’t think I’d date Hubbell. Yes, he’s gorgeous. (Look at that photo above — stunning!) Yes, he’s loyal and protective to a fault that results in him threatening the lives of all who come near me, but he’s kind of an asshole. He does what he wants, he refuses to share food, he’s super conniving and is basically the dog version of me. I’ve dated people just like me; it’s a bloody nightmare.

So, would you, if you could? All gross thoughts of bestiality aside, does your pet have the necessary personality traits that would keep you happy in a relationship? Or is this question truly vile and I shouldn’t have just made a list of pros and cons about dating Hubbell?

 

Photo: My Instagram

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  • http://helloalle.com/ Alle

    I love my dog, but I would not date him. He punishes me if I leave him for too long (what he considers “too long” varies wildly), he eats goose shit whenever possible and, most recently, he chewed a hole in my new McQueen skull scarf. WORST BOYFRIEND EVER.

  • M

    I have quite a few friends who have no dogs but do have boyfriends, and I reckon quite a few of ‘em would be a lot happier if said boyfriends were magically turned into dogs.