• Thu, Jan 31 2013

NYC Cannibal Cop Blames Cameron Diaz For His Desire To Eat Women

Cannibal-Cop-The-Mask-Cameron-Diaz

When I was a kid, I used to obsessively quote Jim Carrey movies. More specifically, The Mask was the one I found most entertaining; I’d run around yelling, “Somebody stop me!” and pretend I was in that ridiculous “Chick Chicky Boom” scene. Guess what I did not grow up to do? Aspire to kill and eat people! But that’s because I’m not NYC’s  infamous “cannibal cop” Gilberto Valle.

According to Valle, his arousal with “imagining women being abducted and bound by others” began when he saw Cameron Diaz in The Mask (1994). In a scene of the film, Diaz’s character is tied to a tree whilst wearing a dress; apparently, this is enough to jumpstart a potential serial killer’s craziness.

The cannibal inspiration in question.

Valle went on to watch bondage fetish videos on the Internet, leading some people to question whether or not these types of scenes caused him to gain his cannibalistic, violent urges. The answer? No. Hell no.

Don’t get me wrong: I think cannibalism fetishes are creepy and bizarre and make me uncomfortable to think about, to say the least. But the vast majority of people who watch bondage and other fetish videos on the Internet are not remotely interested in intentionally, deliberately harming anybody. The BDSM community is very serious about its members respecting consent, and consent is not really a thing that people such as Valle are concerned with. And The Mask surely is not to blame either — seriously, I watched that movie like 3 times a day as a kid and all I got was an infinite crush on Jim Carrey — but the length and detail at which the matter is described is a little unsettling:

In the flick, Diaz — later nomimated for a Golden Globe for her starring role in “There’s Something About Mary” — gets trailed by two goons and chased into an alley where she’s confronted by villain Dorian Tyrell, played by Peter Green.

Clad in a revealing long black dress, Diaz, playing love interest Tina Carlyle, gets roughly pushed against a wall by Tyrell before being forced into his limo and taken to a casino for the film’s climactic scene.

There, she’s tied to a coconut tree and a ticking time bomb is placed at her feet. Her arms are strung up over her head and her legs are wrapped to the tree with duct tape, before she’s rescued by Carrey’s character, Stanley Ipkiss, a k a “The Mask.”

Not sure how relevant it is that she was nominated for There’s Something About Mary, but all right. What bothers me is how specific they are about exactly what she’s wearing and what happened in an almost sexual or fetishized way. It seems as though they’re actually buying into the idea that her character’s actions somehow led to Valle’s desire to hurt women. Maybe I’m reading too far into it, but I’m pretty sure just, “Diaz’s character was bound and abducted” could’ve done the trick rather than go into such creepy detail.

Anyway, let’s just get something straight: bondage and movies involving any form of bondage don’t cause disturbing thoughts of cannibalism. That would be a totally rational argument if, and only if, you were completely delusional. Movies don’t eat people. People eat people. That is all.

Photos: New Line Cinema

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  • Nancy

    Awesome awesome title!! “Not sure how relevant it is that she was nominated for There’s Something About Mary, but all right.” lol’ed at this, I was thinking the same thing.

  • Maggie

    “Now that’s a spicy meatball!” was my favorite line from the movie and could somehow be manipulated into a pun for this particular situation.

    • http://www.facebook.com/sameurysm Samantha Escobar

      LOL.

  • zaz_cag

    I know it’s Monday, but news today wasn’t that slow.

    • http://www.facebook.com/sameurysm Samantha Escobar

      Well forgive me for thinking cannibals blaming Camerons is interesting.

  • MaximumOvertroll

    I think bondage is pretty hot too but I’m not gonna go eating people. too gamey.

  • MaximumOvertroll

    As for The Mask, every time I see it all I can think of is how much better the comic is.

  • Gary

    Carmen Diaz! Better yet Salma Hayek.

  • http://profiles.google.com/richlehmann711 Rich Lehmann

    The writer of this article sounds like a creepy person. Why did she feel the need to share her person insight in the S&M “community” with us? Since when are people that share masturbation material a community? A community has shared values or location not just a common sexual perversion. Buy a dictionary, hack.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sean.coughlin.50 Sean Coughlin

    ok then…………………..

  • 7962

    You mean I misunderstood all these years??

  • dan

    tastes just like chicken

  • Zopo

    That was the first movie I saw Cameron Diaz in an she was INCREDIBLY hot in that one, she still had weight on her, and was not the goofy, dingbat she is today. I definitely wanted to do some “eating” on her, but not the consumption of flesh kind if you get my drift!!!

  • DaveLCAC

    OK Samantha, not a bad write up, especially correctly determining association with objects doesn’t lead to the improper behavior in and of itself. So now place the word gun as the object…Unless you are completely delusional, Guns don’t kill people, People kill people. Good argument. Perhaps you can follow up with a nice article on how gun control only limits the rights of legitimate gun owners and doesn’t do anything to limit “sick” people from using them to kill.