• Fri, Feb 1 2013

Just FYI: Jennifer Lawrence’s Boobs Are Uneven

jennifer-lawrence-boobs

While I am not particularly opposed to Jennifer Lawrence, it has taken some time for me to warm up to her. But gradually, I have realized that if I were to meet her, she and I would get along spectacularly. And after her appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, I’m pretty sure I am now a fan despite still never having seen her in anything besides Winter’s Bone.

Upon arrival to the stage, she admitted to being a bit drunk due to taking shots of tequila the producers had offered up to her. Then, she went into her bout of pneumonia  over the past couple weeks and the subsequent ~*shocking*~ discovery she made:

“I just went to the doctor today, I got a chest X-ray of my lungs and discovered that my breasts are uneven… I was like standing there with these doctors and they’re like looking at my lungs and I just couldn’t—it felt like an elephant in the room—and I was like, ‘Are my breasts uneven?’ And they were just kind of, like, stifled and uncomfortable, obviously. So I kept thinking, ‘Well, I’m gonna dig myself out of this hole by bringing it up again.’ “So he was like, ‘All right, our radiologist will get back to you about your lungs.’ And I was like, ‘And my breasts.’”

Okay, first of all, I am admittedly biased towards people who overuse the word “like.” I get a lot of shit for it and I know it’s super annoying, but I just plain can’t help it — especially when talking to new people — and I kind of love her for not being able to either. Second, it’s kind of endearing that, if she weren’t famous, Lawrence might be that drunk girl at the party who giggles too much after a few beers and tries to fool people into checking out her new nipple piercings.

Maybe I’m just reaching because I have never understood America’s present obsession with her, but I’m starting to get why she is likable. Or perhaps I’m just a fan of anybody who can admit on television that her boobs are uneven because dammit, so are mine. Either way, man.

Photo: Jimmy Kimmel Live, supplied by WENN.com

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  • kj

    Jennifer Lawrence is hilarious! I have loved her since she mentioned in some interview about how much she loves being barefoot and calls stilettos “Satan’s Shoes!”

    It’s like, “Sister!”

    (And clearly we both abuse the word “like.”)

    • http://www.facebook.com/sameurysm Samantha Escobar

      I like, like this comment.

  • Eileen

    She just seems reasonably normal and charming. I am hesitant to say that since she is a two-time Oscar nominee, so she’s obviously good at pretending to be someone she’s not, but she seems really awesome. And I’m pretty sure everyone’s breasts are a little uneven (my left one is bigger)

  • anna

    i love her and aubrey plaza more than any actresses in hollywood in terms of theoretical bffs.

  • Whining

    Any time I read something about breasts being uneven, lots of people respond “everybody’s are a little uneven” –yeah, yeah, but some of us are more than a little uneven. Some of us have a cup size difference, or more. This is just me whining.