Cindy Adams Really Hates Washington, Loves Term Crapola

ASPCA Blessing of the Animals at Christ Church United Methodist

Sometimes I think about how it is very, very difficult to get a column in print publication. For young people, but, really, for anyone. I mean, I think we can all probably name really talented writers – who are great! – who are writing for rates very close to free online. There’s such a readily available pool of talent to draw from that you have to assume that print publications, with actual budgets, would employ the best of the best. I am going to present to you, without comment, some lines from Cindy Adam’s column on Washington:

I drove to Washington. I now know what DC stands for. District of Crapola.

Our Cabinet appointees have rare gifts. So rare, some of them have none. They’re busy saving the world. How about saving our world?

Our beloved country may have young blood, but we’re keeping it in old containers.

LITERALLY? Sorry. I know I said I would not comment.

Help us. Help your country. Help your capital. Help Washington, DC. Clean it up. Drive into it, drive by the approach, see how rank it is. How murky. How smelly. How putrid. How vile. The area’s a sewer. It lacks only a dead body decaying there.

It isn’t like children can enjoy the open spaces and play basketball or baseball. Any game in those dirty lots would be Spin the Cop.

I just googled this, and Spin the Cop is not a real game. That’s not a comment, that’s just a fact for you to know.

Take Pakistan. I’ve been there. Its government city is a lavatory. Dirty, littered, a dump. But who cares — that’s Pakistan, right? Well, guess what. It’s the same in our government city.

You are comparing Washington D.C. to… Karachi? Where they just got cell service restored? Or would that be Islamabad, where another suicide bombing just killed 26 people? LADY, YOU CANNOT COMPARE WASHINGTON TO PAKISTAN BECAUSE ONE OF THOSE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER. THAT IS LIKE COMPARING APPLES TO ‘SPIN THE COP’.

Well, and there we go, it made me comment. This is the best we have.

Picture via WENN

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    • Eileen

      Washington, DC is dirty? Really? I’ve spent a lot of time there, and I’m always impressed at how remarkably clean it is, especially compared to, say, New York or Chicago (which, granted, are bigger cities, but still). I mean, it does get humid and a little smelly in the summer, but what can you expect of a city that was essentially built on a swamp?

      • Stephanie

        I love Chicago but it’s a dirty, dirty town for sure.

      • Cate

        Seriously, the smell from the underground el trains alone is enough to knock one over. I mean, this is my beloved home and I hope to die here and all of that, but you are not lying when you say it’s dirty.

    • CMJ

      I can’t even with that article. There’s honestly one sentence I cannot tell if it’s a typo or how it’s supposed to be worded…”You who people Washington…”

    • Cate

      “It’s so crammed that the mice have to be hunchbacked?”
      That is a terrible article. It’s barely even an article, it;s a bunch of poor metaphors and fragmented thoughts strung together.

      Besides, as Eileen and Stephanie pointed out, Washington D.C. is not even all that dirty.