Last night the band My Bloody Valentine released their first new album since 1991 on their website. Some people were very excited:
The My Bloody Valentine release finally justifies Pitchfork having installed that fireman’s pole.
— Bob Powers (@bobpowers1) February 3, 2013
So sorry about the noise, dear neighbors, but there is a new My Bloody Valentine record, and it will be played at spiritual volumes.
— Alex Payne (@al3x) February 3, 2013
what, like u never got high and fucked to my bloody valentine
— J (@someofmybest) February 3, 2013
Everyone who is listening to this My Bloody Valentine record is on another level.
— Colin St. John (@weneedthedude) February 3, 2013
Sign the White House petition to get My Bloody Valentine’s website working bit.ly/11AX76G
— SPIN (@SPINmagazine) February 3, 2013
For those of you who found yourself feeling a little lost in the frenzy, here’s a handy guide to what My Bloody Valentine isn’t so you don’t get yelled at the next time you have a conversation with an excited 35-year-old.
My Bloody Valentine isn’t…
A 1981 film about a murderous coal miner. No member of My Bloody Valentine has ever been trapped in a coal mine after a cave-in for six weeks and forced to eat the dead bodies of their former friends until they were driven to madness.
My Bloody Valentine isn’t…
The 2009 3D remake of the same film starring Kerr Smith and Jaime King. No member of My Bloody Valentine has ever been trapped in a coal mine after a cave-in for six weeks and forced to eat the dead bodies of their former friends until they were driven to madness…in 3D, or is Kerr Smith.
My Bloody Valentine isn’t…
A single from Good Charlotte’s The Young and the Hopeless album. No member of My Bloody Valentine has ever been described as pop-punk.
My Bloody Valentine isn’t…
A season 4 episode of The CW’s Supernatural. No member My Bloody Valentine has ever fought a demon or appeared on the CW.
For the rest of you, congratulations. You’re very smart and I hope you enjoyed your music.
