• Sun, Feb 3 2013

What My Bloody Valentine Isn’t

valentine
Last night the band My Bloody Valentine released their first new album since 1991 on their website. Some people were very excited:

For those of you who found yourself feeling a little lost in the frenzy, here’s a handy guide to what My Bloody Valentine isn’t so you don’t get yelled at the next time you have a conversation with an excited 35-year-old.

My Bloody Valentine isn’t…

A 1981 film about a murderous coal miner. No member of My Bloody Valentine has ever been trapped in a coal mine after a cave-in for six weeks and forced to eat the dead bodies of their former friends until they were driven to madness.

My Bloody Valentine isn’t…

The 2009 3D remake of the same film starring Kerr Smith and Jaime King. No member of My Bloody Valentine has ever been trapped in a coal mine after a cave-in for six weeks and forced to eat the dead bodies of their former friends until they were driven to madness…in 3D, or is Kerr Smith.

My Bloody Valentine isn’t…

A single from Good Charlotte’s The Young and the Hopeless album. No member of My Bloody Valentine has ever been described as pop-punk.

My Bloody Valentine isn’t…

A season 4 episode of The CW’s Supernatural. No member My Bloody Valentine has ever fought a demon or appeared on the CW.

For the rest of you, congratulations. You’re very smart and I hope you enjoyed your music.

From Our Partners

Share This Post: