Childbirth is supposedly one of the most painful experiences a human can go through. But do men really believe moms when they say that? On a recent edition of a show resembling the Dutch version of Jackass, two bros challenge themselves to endure simulated labor pains for two hours, with amusing (to sadists) results.
At the outset, the bros get set up with a physiotherapist (to hurt) and a midwife (to help), and it’s clear they’re not taking it too seriously. “Do you think we will scream in pain?” asks one, as if all the women who scream during childbirth are just being huge pussies. “Oh, you will definitely scream in pain,” says the physiotherapist, a devilish glint in her eye.
The dudes get four electrodes on their stomachs to simulate the pain of contractions. This seems like getting off easy, as labor pains also affect the spine, the crotch, and even the ass regions of a woman’s body. (Or so I’m told.) At first they think the pain is hilarious, but soon, their tormentors dial up the intensity, because “as long as they’re laughing, they don’t get enough shocks.”
“It’s like barbed wire is pushed into my stomach in 36 places” says one. “I’m going completely crazy when I think this has to go on for two hours,” says the other. “I really could cry, you know.”
One of them quits after an hour and decides not to have the baby after all, just like a real woman in labor. The other soldiers on, and, with the help of a little laughing gas, earns himself a beautiful fake baby and some mini-waffles, or whatever kind of Dutch pastry that is. And what did we learn from the experience?
“I’m not sure anymore I’m willing to put my wife through this and make her pregnant,” says one, quite sensibly. “Well, I think it was a fantastic experience,” says the other. “I liked it.” It might be the language barrier, but I’m pretty sure he’s being sarcastic.
TL;DR: Look, men are in pain! I am going to bookmark this to watch again whenever I am angry about the patriarchy.