“A lingerie model walks into the International Space Station and Aleksandr Samokutyayev says…”
Some kind of major sporting event occurred this weekend and celebrities came out of the woodwork for various sponsored parties. Apparently in observance of an event called the Super Bowl, a bunch of large companies threw lavish parties with expansive gifting suites, luring out the likes of Candice Swanepoel, Kate Upton, Sofia Vergara, Olivia Munn, Hayden Panettiere, Ashley GreeneÂ and more in their tightest, brightest and shortest.
Solange KnowlesÂ is famous, at this point, for wearing “fashion forward” clothes and being a “style star.” And covering “Stillness Is The Move.” We’re assuming that’s
Alexander Wang SportMax. Also, we like her lipstick.
Stacy Keibler attends the Audi party, also. She owns mini dresses and big frothy gowns exclusively.
We’re surprised thatÂ SofĂa Vergara‘s stylist let her out in a dress that’s been worn one million times already… unless…. look at the irregular pattern of the dots? Could it be–sweet God in Heaven–is that a knockoff?!
Kate Upton attends the GQ Super Bowl party, dressed in that “model off duty” way, only with heels. And a smile.
Ian Somerhalder and his jaw line attended the same party.
Ugh, gross. Guy Fieri dresses like Joe SimpsonÂ auditioning for Sons of Anarchy.
Candice Swanepoel attended an AXE event (because she’s a Victoria’s Secret model and that’s just brand integrity) with an official AXE astronaut. Her face was very shiny and her bra was showing.
Next there was a party called Leather and Laces, which was attended by various hot people. Brooklyn Decker was one. Doesn’t her hair look nice?
Rachael Leigh Cook was there! Good thing she took off her glasses and removed those frumpy overralls before walking the red carpet.
Hayden PanettiereÂ was at the Lacoste/Mercedes event. Her heels look really dated and we’re kind of philosophically opposed to white blazers.
Oh, more from the Leather and Laces one.Â Jenny McCarthy wore the most dated looking Herve LegerÂ bandage dress we’ve seen on red carpets in… a year? Two years?
She’s dressed like Heidi Montag (before the Fall).
Oh, speaking of Heidi Montag, here’s her somehow even less interesting former cohortÂ Audrina Patridge.
We’ll leave her and her tiny cross necklace be.
But notÂ Kendra Wilkinson! What in boob goddamn hell is happening here?
Olivia MunnÂ attended the Rolling Stone party and looked more grown-up than the last couple photos.
Anna FarisÂ kept things simple enough to avoid asshole captions.
Ashley Greene, though, was under the impression she was attending some sort of Guild-affiliated awards show. As opposed to a party for a professional sporting event thrown by a car company.
Oh, andÂ Will Ferrell has this moustache now.
(Photos via Getty)