10 Reasons Why You Should Never Online Stalk An Ex Again (Never, Ever)

Actually, no you don't. You just tell yourself this when you're bored.

Actually, no you don’t. You just tell yourself this when you’re bored.

Ugh. Social media and Google have made online stalking the easiest thing in the world, but it’s also made letting someone go for good the absolute pits. It’s way too easy to get information or see photos of your ex happy in their new life. When you’re still burned by the whole relationship, it’s the last thing you need. But, sadly, human curiosity always wins in these cases and you’re on the floor in tears.

You can block each other on different social media platforms, but do you know that blocking someone on Twitter isn’t the same as blocking someone on Facebook? You can still see what’s going on in each other’s lives, with the only difference being that you just can’t directly tweet at them. Oh, damn! Looks like your ex can check in and see how fucking fancy you are without them. Oh, double damn! You can check in and see how happy they are in that stupid photo they just posted of themselves with their new love. Like I said, shit is the pits. If only this were 1800-something, then it would all be so much easier.

But honestly, don’t you have better things to do with your time? Don’t you respect yourself way more than to put yourself through the fucking emotional ringer with your ex’s new life that is sans you?

As someone who bought herself a package of star stickers to sticker each day on my wall calendar I didn’t stalk an ex, I can tell you, some 100 days later or so, life without all that in your face is better. Maybe the star stickers were an immature choice, or maybe I was trying to make up for the fact that I didn’t get enough stars on my tests in grammar school, but it worked. I also like shiny things, so I was stoked to see them all glittering back at me when the sun hit them.

A calendar full of stickers aside, there are other reasons to never online stalk an ex again. And I mean, EVER, as in when you find out from a mutual friend that your ex’s wedding announcement is in the Sunday New York Times, you don’t read it that day. Don’t worry, the Times will still be there tomorrow, and even more importantly, so will your sanity. (Besides, it’s not like your ex would make it into the Sunday New York Times wedding announcement section anyway. Boom.)

Photo: Someecards

Share This Post:
    • http://helloalle.com/ Alle

      This is a perfect example of turning lemons into lemonade.
      Loves you, Skippy. You’re so much cooler than any dental hygienist.

      • Amanda Chatel

        Haha! I just blew Diet Coke out my nose. Thank you, A-Dawg!

    • Tania

      This one was difficult for me! I finally got over it when I happened across something his ex-fiance/new-best-friend posted on Reddit (that was fun) and realized she was stalking my blog, knowing it upset me, because she “fucking loves drama.”

      And I realized that if that bastard thinks *I’m* mean for completely unknown reasons (telling him he shouldn’t make a snap decision to move to Europe after spending two months there, while currently being frustrated with his school for not telling him he needed to get another background check and not being sure he can even finish his teacher cert, and while doing nothing but playing WoW and Redditing? That he should wait until he’s settled back into school and work and then decide? Fucking bitch, I tell you), but he has no problem with her stalking my blog and Facebook because she sleeps with him even when she has boyfriends and never disagrees with him? I don’t need him.

      • Amanda Chatel

        That was A LOT to process! Takeaway? You’re so much better off and she needs to read this and quit stalking you.

      • Tania

        I made my blog private, so she can’t stalk it any longer, but damned if she didn’t keep checking it every day until I did. (Thanks, Analytics.) I feel very vindicated when talking about this to friends and being told “I can’t imagine you ever being mean.” I guess he’s a permanent man-child, stuck in the phase where any sort of disagreement means you’re being mean.

    • http://www.facebook.com/nadia.marti.94 Nadia Martí

      I stopped facebook stalking exes and crushes when I accidentally posted a guy’s name on his best friend’s wall…and didn’t realize I had…thought I was in the search bar.

      • Tania

        Oh, cringe.

      • Amanda Chatel

        Haha! Oh man, I’ve done that before, but caught myself at the last minute… more than once.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=677221827 Christine Dewater

      Been like a month and a half since I last stalked my ex. SO SO tempting, but do I really need to make myself miserable? NO! He’s married, has a kid, has a house. There is nothing there I need to see. And it killed me to know he was bicycle racing again. Because I want him to, but I missed being there.

    • Roxanne

      I was never much of a true stalker, but when I found out that my ex-husband’s girlfriend and I had a mutual Facebook friend, it freaked me out. http://wp.me/p1sXPw-h But since then I have a self imposed black out. I never look and you know what?– it’s not that hard and is actually empowering. It’s been years since I’ve even clicked once. I don’t put anything personal on facebook anymore. If anyone stalks me, I’m happily unaware.

    • cannonball101

      I recently discovered an ex now has a Twitter. He’s a graphic designer/photographer, so it makes sense, however, when we were together he was EXTREMELY anti-social media, so it was like I was suddenly seeing something from a person that I knew, but had become someone else entirely. Which, I guess, is exactly what happened.

      I can’t stop checking his Twitter/Instagram…and it’s bad for me, because it’s making me feel bad about my life. I’M STILL AWESOME, THOUGH, I JUST HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT!! (…right?…)

      • Amanda Chatel

        You’re super awesome. ‘Nuff said.

    • G.

      The last picture of the macaron is so fucking disgusting! Why did you do that to my eyes? Worst picture of a macaron EVER.

    • …her?

      But isn’t the true purpose of the internet stalking? Just me? Ok.

    • smurr

      Why is the F bomb in this article?

      • Whaluuit

        Linguistic laziness. I guess anything passes for “writing” these days.

    • idh82bu

      I know this article is old, but I wanted to add my two cents about why it’s important, in a way, to do some “investigative” work. Last year I met a guy on the internet. I was not actively looking for love or friendship with anyone either on the net or in real life, but I happened to make a comment on his YouTube video and we started messaging each other in private. We exchanged emails.

      Interacting with this man was, at the risk of sounding cheesy, magical. He made me feel things I had never felt before with anyone else, including my ex-husband. As I mentioned, I wanted nothing to do with anyone from the internet, so meeting this man and developing these feelings for him was very unexpected. I truly felt we made a connection. However, there was something about him that was off in the sense that he would contact me for a few days then disappear into thin air. I would ask him if he was okay and he’d respond that he was busy with work (he works in media) or he wouldn’t respond at all, which bugged the hell out of me.

      Months went by with the same pattern of behavior. By then, I had already located his Twitter and other social media accounts, which I checked daily. I wasn’t really looking to find anything terrible about him; I just wanted to get to know him a little better and was able to do so through his writing. Meanwhile, I started to develop deeper feelings for him. During the summer I asked him point blank if he was seeing anyone and he said no. It was then that I made my feelings known and he said he felt the same way (ha!). We continued communicating. Summer turned into fall, and he kept disappearing and reappearing, and it wasn’t until this past November that I found out the reason why by innocently checking his favorites list on Twitter. In this list, he had favorited a picture by a girl he was following. This picture was very similar to one he had posted to his Instagram. After a brief review, there was the picture in question with the same date and time but taken from a different angle.

      I took a deep breath and checked this girl’s Twitter. She, of course, turned out to be his elusive girlfriend. I don’t know how long they’ve been seeing each other, but I started comparing dates of when we had made plans to talk but when I called he wouldn’t pick up his phone…because he was with her. I also checked her tweets from his birthday and she was with him during the day…he texted me later that night after she left.

      Everything I know about their relationship I learned by reading her tweets. This girl posted EVERYTHING: fights they had, trips they took, things he would tell her, how sad she was because he was ignoring her, she even hinted at times they had morning sex. They live in Europe, where people are not as puritanical about sex as we are in the US. Coincidentally, he had also started to pull away from her starting in August, which was around the time I spilled my heart out to him, but she was still hanging out with him through November when she suddenly stopped tweeting.

      He introduced me to a woman friend of his back in October. That was the time I also learned that he was talking to several other women besides me. Of course, I could not tell him that I knew who his girlfriend was, but I used his friend’s name in a vain attempt to get him to fess up.

      In early December I could no longer take the pressure of knowing that he was playing with me when he knew how I felt about him. So I threw caution to the wind and confronted him about this. He, of course, was deeply offended and basically ripped me open a new one via email. I was understandably gutted, but okay with the choice I made, because I was confident that I wasn’t making anything up. We stopped talking.

      Around this time I traveled out of state to see family and to try and forget all about him, but my longing for him increased with each passing day. I missed him something terrible. I missed seeing his name on my phone, missed his random texts, our conversations, etc. I missed the way I felt knowing I had him in my life. For her part, she restarted tweeting in early December and all of her tweets were about her moping around missing him. Apparently, they were no longer seeing each other, but I had no clue as to what exactly happened. So on Christmas Eve I texted him a holiday greeting. He responded but we’ve kind of left things open ended.

      I do not know if I will ever hear from him again, but I have to definitely remove him from my life because nothing will take away the fact that he lied to me. However, if we do talk again, I highly doubt that we will ever be anything more than friends because the damage has been done. I also doubt that he will ever come clean about his lies. One thing I know for sure is that this kind of productive stalking has saved me many future heartaches. Sorry for the long post.

      • Alice

        I might be completely off on this but,… There is something called NLP hypnosis, seduction. Its very complicated and way easier to understand if you just research various articles online about it. Its part of the PUA community. You may think of pick up artists as low-brow type losers who are desperate. Its hardly the case.
        When you meet somebody who made you feel something nobody else ever could, its not in your general character to be taken this way and it wasn’t even altogether- ” real”. There may have been some extreme manipulation on his part to conjure that.

      • A friend

        Live strong. You are doing great. They say a person who truly loves you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is. But he clearly never was holding on in the first place.

    • Emma Russell

      I saw a testimony of Nadezhda Vyacheslav on how she got that guy to love her as she did him.Though i don’t know her, i believed her cos she said Mutton Osun a spell caster help her seen it happen.I didn’t believe her cos she used a spell i believed her cos she made mention of a mutual spell caster i know of that is mutton Osun. I have also see a lot of testimony about his work on the the internet on blog pages and so on.I literally took a lip of faith to contact him and it turn out that it paid off.In my own case i didn’t ask that him to make anyone fall in love with me or ask that my cheating wife comes back.This time i was at fault i messed up.Will really like to say it was an honest mistake or a few hours or days of weakness but then i will be insulting my wife and the love i feel for her.I was in full control of what i was doing i had the choice not to cheat but i still did. She didn’t find out by herself i told hoping if i told her how sorry i am and how much i still love and want to be with her despite my betray she will forgive completely.It was the biggest mistake of my life maybe i should not have told her, i guess she would have still found out if she didn’t catch me then i bet the other lady would have told her what was going on to destroy what me and my wife had.It was obvious my betray really hurt her i could she it in her eye and i was really sorry.That is why i wasn’t so surprise when she asked that we go our separate ways.There and then i realized that i was following the part that ruined my life and my family.I literally lead four month of my life in misery.I have never felt like i needed her like i had felt begging was not an option nothing was an option cos she was gone.It was right about that time Mutton Osun came into the picture or when i asked that he help me get my wife to love as she did before.I was able to provide the items he asked that i get for the spell and send then down to him.Like Nadezhda Vyacheslav said “the spell does become effective at once that ” she was right also cos just after i did what Mutton Osun asked me to do with what he sent me, it took 7 days before anything happened i even thought for a minute that i had met a fake spell caster but in the end i am happy with my wife again.We going to be renewing our vows on the 20th of September. I was on the edge of become a walking dead a woman with nothing to live for thank my star Mutton Osun helped.I will also leave his contact for those who thing he can help them { godsofosunx@rocketmail.com }

    • Becky Jones

      Hello I am PAUL,I am out here to spread this good news to the
      entire world on how I got my ex Lover.I was going crazy when my
      husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But when
      i met a friend that introduced me to Dr. OGUDO the great messenger to
      the oracle of Dr. OGUDO healing home,I narrated my problem to DR OGUDO
      about how my ex Lover left me and my two kids and also how i needed
      to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come
      to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any
      side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24
      hours later,My Ex Lover. called me on the phone and was saying sorry
      for living me and the kids before now and one week after my lover
      called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in
      a very big company here in USA were i needed to work as the managing
      director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to
      the entire world to contact Dr. OGUDO on his personal email address and
      get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to
      solve..Contact him direct on: drogudospelltemple@gmail.com and your
      problem will be solve,email at drogudospelltemple@gmail.com