You kind of have to hand it to Courtney Stodden: she is still garnering internet coverage long after most people thought she would fade into pop culture obscurity. At 18 years old, she’s no longer technically a “child bride,” yet we continue to gawk. How does she do it?
A: With boobs, bikinis, and a voice like a baby Fran Drescher. At least, as far as I can tell. There is also the whole “was she or wasn’t she molested” mystery, which has been fun.
So what is this golden-throated harbinger of post-postmodernism up to now? These days, Courtney is filming a music video for her latest single, the title of which, “Reality,” only fuels my belief that she’s a 30-year-old performance artist hell bent on creating a character so hyper-meta-fake that she makes us question the very concept of reality. Celebuzz has a behind-the-scenes look (above), and it doesn’t disappoint. We’ve got Courtney in a candy bikini, licking a giant lollipop. We’ve got Courtney in a Cleopatra bikini. And we’ve got Courtney speaking in that unique voice of hers, explaining the video’s plot: “It’s about this hot nerd that I’m captivated by, and you know, we get into the bedroom, it gets a little steamy, and the rest is history.”
What kind of history? SEX HISTORY. “A lot of kissing, straddling, that’s all I’m gonna say,” she says. Courtney, you coy thing.
As always, Courtney’s husband Doug Hutchison is there to creep up the proceedings. “He’s here as my assistant, and he’s my helping hand, which is a great asset to have, especially in a husband,” Courtney explains. (Is it just me, or is she one “like such as” away from reaching Miss Alabama heights of oratory?)
What will the finished product look like? Will Doug get jealous of the “hot nerd” and fight him? Will Courtney and the nerd run away together and start lobbying against young marriage? We’ll just have to wait and see. In the meantime, why not catch yourself up on the mellifluous music this video will be scored by: