• Wed, Feb 13 2013

Patrick Wilson’s ‘Muffin Top’ Wife Tweets Her Two Cents About This Week’s Girls Episode

Because this would NEVER happen. No; no way.

Because this would NEVER happen. No; no way.

There’s no way in hell you haven’t been privy to the fury, disgust, outrage, disbelief or, in some cases, delight and high-fives, over this past Sunday’s Girls episode. It’s virtually impossible not to have it in your face even if you don’t watch the show. The haters amped up the hate in the last few days, and left few unscathed.

How could a gorgeous man like Joshua (played by Patrick Wilson), possibly want to fuck, let alone spend a couple days with Lena Dunham‘s sometimes grating, and always self-involved, character Hannah? Shit. Did I just give something away? Well, like I said there’s no way in hell you can possibly be in the dark about this at this point, so I’m not apologizing. I’m not even sorry that I’m not sorry!

It’s unbelievable how invested people seem to be in what we saw on HBO a couple days ago. Every single person and their mother seems to have a take on the episode; it’s actually shocking.

On one end we have those who screamed at the TV, “Fuck yeah, Hannah! This is the best! This is how shit happens! THIS IS REAL LIFE!” That group was fun, cheerful and supportive. But then there were the others; the evil basement-dwelling trolls who weren’t buying what Dunham and crew were selling. It was that latter group that scoffed at the idea that a 42-year-old man who has looks, education and wealth in the bag would want to spend any time with Hannah. The critics on the subject were cruel and appalling, with many considering the episode some sort of dream sequence that was as far from the reality-based themes of the past episodes. It was, again, shocking that people could get so riled up about a TELEVISION SHOW, and really impressive that Dunham hit a major nerve with so many people.

It was also this group — the haters — that failed to see what was really going in episode five, which was appropriately titled “One Man’s Trash.” Simply put:  It was a very likely scenario between two emotionally fucked up people who needed each other desperately in that moment, and went for it thanks to a sexual attraction that doesn’t need to be explained or justified. You can see it in Joshua’s eyes, this utter intrigue, when Hannah admits to the bizarre thrill that comes with dispersing the trash from Cafe Grumpy in other garbage cans around the neighborhood. It’s an interesting lust for a foreign world; the same lust that, I imagine, propelled Hannah to kiss Joshua (look at this grown-up life!)… thus throwing the entire world out of balance and forcing all of us to reconsider what we know to be right and wrong.

Have we forgotten that sexual attraction, real animalistic need to both fuck and be intimate with another human being, is often steeped in components that don’t even flirt with such trivial, surface material like looks? Have we? As much as I would love to school an angry blogger who hates on Dunham’s body as if it’s their job, I’m not even going to get involved. Both sides have been tackled and there’s no convincing either one to convert. Basically, Girls has turned us all into religious fanatics. Awesome.

So while the world guessed at exactly who the devastatingly handsome Patrick Wilson would fuck, with some of them guessing his wife’s identity wrong, there was a little voice of reason from the Twittersphere. When Twitter user @IreneDavies (who has since deleted the tweet) tweeted, “Patrick Wilson is so hot he would never do Lena Dunham,” she got herself one hell of a surprise response:

patrick wilson girls response

Who is Dagmara Dominczyk? Oh, just Wilson’s “size 10, muffin top & all” wife. Boom.

And what we have right there, my friends, is score for the curvy girls — in case anyone is keeping track. But seriously though, the ongoing controversy over Dunham’s looks and size aside, don’t we all need to take it down a notch on this topic? Isn’t it old by now? I know I’m yawning, and it’s not because it’s 328am while I write this post.

I think next Monday morning we should all resolve to talk about something else — like maybe how upsetting it is that Jessa no longer has those cute puppies that her soon-to-be ex-husband gave her. Thoughts? I think that’s far more stimulating than an argument over who will bang who based on looks and all that malarkey. That’s just boring talk. Now excuse me while I undress for my ping-pong match.

 

Photo: HBO

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  • Fabel

    “Have we forgotten that sexual attraction, real animalistic need to both
    fuck and be intimate with another human being, is often steeped in
    components that don’t even flirt with such trivial, surface material
    like looks?”

    Godddddddddd, THISSSSSSSSSSSS

    Seriously, I don’t even understand the protest & confusion about this episode. Do the people who are all “omg, like, he would never go for her!!” live on another planet? You would have to NOT know anything about human sexuality to be shocked at that kind of coupling (& personally, I’m not even seeing such a huge divide in their attractiveness, but that’s besides the point)

    • Amanda Chatel

      Fabel… can you stop dominating the comment feed? MY GOD, WOMAN. Get control!

    • Fabel

      CAN’T STOP OUTTA CONTROL

    • http://thegloss.com/ Ashley Cardiff

      lol Fabel

  • Fabel

    Damn it, my comment got eaten!! (?)

    Basically, I quoted this part “Have we forgotten that sexual attraction, real animalistic need to both fuck and be intimate with another human being, is often steeped in
    components that don’t even flirt with such trivial, surface material
    like looks?” & was like YESSSSSSSSSSSSS wtf, like I don’t understand everybody’s protests & confusion about the coupling in this episode.

    • Fabel

      Oops, now it showed up & you can all see how horrible my summarization was :(

  • http://twitter.com/SamiDan19 Sami Jankins

    I didn’t see this episode as far-fetched at all. I think Lena is adorable! I have seen plenty of gorgeous women who could get any (really any) guy marry a guy who I would consider average. The reverse of this is also true. That’s because that’s MY view of the guys, not there’s. We all have our own personal preferences which is fantastic because otherwise we’d all be going after the same people which would get super lame super quickly. Also, looks obviously aren’t everything. Someone can be attractive, but the moment they open their mouth to say something idiotic or vile… well, there goes the attractive factor for me. Can we also agree that Patrick Wilson’s wife is a STUNNING CLASS ACT?! I read through some of her twitter feed, and she’s just fantastic with her responses to the Girls episode. It’s great to see women sticking up for other women. Let’s all get over our unnecessary preoccupation with what quality level of guy deserves what quality level of girl (or the opposite of that). Boobs are boobs. Bodies are bodies. Love is love, yo!

    • Amanda Chatel

      Amen, girl. <3 Sami.

  • QueenBavmorda

    Girls is trying to present real life scenarios (and does so with astonishing success) but viewers are not used to this, everyone on tv is ‘perfect’, or made to look that way so that when someone not ‘perfect’ appears they look like a cave-dwelling mud-being brought out into the light when if you saw them in the street, they would just look normal, probably quite nice looking. And if some people weren’t famous, they probably wouldn’t get looked at twice in a bar, it is a bizarre form of I don’t know, hyperreality? Does that apply here? Or is it art failing to imitate life, just building up this fake picture of how we would like to be (rich, thin, symmetrical) for us to lust after? And of course fail, become depressed, eat, buy, expire…

    • Nancy

      This reminded me of reading the other day how Troian who plays Spencer on Pretty Little Liars said that (now that she’s supposed to be going off the deep end on the show) she just goes to work and starts acting as she normally looks. But people are saying she looks terrible now, because she looks real instead of like someone who should be on a show.

  • CMJ

    Her Twitter feed is amazing.

    • Amanda Chatel

      I know, right? I love her.

  • Cate

    My issue with the reality of this episode is not how Hannah looks, but how she acts.
    While Lena Dunham is not the most traditionally perfect-looking girl ever, I think this whole episode would have been a lot more believable if her character had a great personality.
    I can see how Hannah and the doctor might have had a mutual momentary attraction and then acted on it, but I cannot see how the doctor (or anyone! How does she have any friends at all?) would want her to stay and spend the afternoon and the next day with her, no matter how emotionally damaged he is. To me at least, Hannah is just insufferable. She’s self-involved, entitled, whiny, and childish. It’s her personality that makes her unattractive, not her size.

    • Nancy

      Yeah, but he didn’t know all that at first! At first, she was unusual and different to him, a little sad, and it intrigued him. And when he spent more time talking to her and seeing that, he was turned off.

  • Jessie

    One of the major problems I can have with movie / tv plotlines is when I feel like peoples relationships are super unrealisitic. Examples: Rose Bryne and Maya Rudolf in Bridesmaids seems COMPLETELY unrealistic to me. On what planet are they friends? How is Maya Rudolf so blind to how awful she is to Kristen Wiig the whole movie? Emily Blunt and her Professor in 5 year engagement?! I’m sorry, no. I really don’t see THAT happening at all. There are others that I cannot think of right now. In both those cases I found the stories hard to connect with and thusly hard to enjoy bc I found it so ridiculous that those relationships were taking place – purely on personalities. This? Lena and Patrick? This was not one of those times.

  • http://twitter.com/EvaVavoom Miss Eva Vavoom

    I know ‘that guy’ (gorgeous, rich and NICE!) and also wonder why ‘that guy’ wants to spend time with very Hannah-like me and has been checking continuously for years whether or not I’m still with my boyfriend. I’m totally available to play ping pong topless with him anywhere on any day BUT he’s monogamous and I’m not (at least for the time being). Regular looking girls get plenty of attention from men, all kinds of men, especially if they are funny, different and not afraid to do something unexpected (being straight-forward and selflessly honest does make a good impression!) While the Girls plot was played out like a fantasy sequence, it wasn’t THAT far fetched. The way Duhnam dresses Hannah in dumpy, vintage-looking ill-fitting clothes just cracks me up every time though.

  • Nancy

    I thought this episode was insightful and mostly real, I could absolutely empathize. But I didn’t actually like it. It made me feel kind of awful (definitely struck a chord), and it was so awkward I literally had my hand over my eyes for half of it. The review you linked to is so dumb, I really don’t think this show is for guys, I can’t imagine how they’d understand her issues.

  • EKW2188

    I think Hannah is unattractive because of her personality, not her body. I think Lena Dunham herself is adorbs and I love Patrick’s wife!