...And that's if you ever manage to make eye contact at all.
Photo: Michael Carpenter/WENN.com
No matter what your companion wears, he will feel inferior. On second thought, this may be an effective blind date outfit.
Photo: Kyle Blair/WENN.com
You will lean in for a kiss at the end of the night and hurt somebody.
Photo: Ivan Nikolov/WENN.com
...And that's if you ever manage to make eye contact at all.
Photo: Michael Carpenter/WENN.com
It is typically best not to make your date believe you've been stabbed. Typically.
Photo: Jeff Grossman/WENN.com
No matter how careful you are, your sleeves will catch on fire when you go within 10 feet of a candle and you will accidentally pour wine on it to put out the flames and you will wish you'd just gone with that stupid tank dress you forgot to wash.
Photo: Kyle Blair/WENN.com
"Oozingly ombre" legs should never be a thing.
Photo: Alberto Reyes/WENN.com
Nobody wears necklines this high except people in sitcoms with hickeys.
Photo: Derrick Salters/WENN.com
Nobody will believe that you have a seeing eye cat, and you will not get into any restaurants. Kitty, hungry for caviar, will eventually claw out your date's eyes.
Photo: Derrick Salters/WENN.com
Because you will scare the shit out of her.
Photo: Jeff Grossman/WENN.com
It's like an itchier, more glittery Mystique. And you know those balls would just catch on everything.
Photo: Jeff Grossman/WENN.com
Because this is Deena from Jersey Shore and even if your date doesn't know, you'll know.
(Though, it is nice to see somebody walking who is both short and of a non-standard size!)
Photo: C.Smith/ WENN.com
Douchebags with bad tattoos will come up to you and stare at your torso, claiming they can translate what your dress says. Neither you nor your date will be amused.
Photo: Jeff Grossman/WENN.com
For the record, no guy will ever pull off sleeveless shirts except Mac from It's Always Sunny. Ever. Don't do it, dudes.
Photo: Alberto Reyes/WENN.com
Because your dates eyes will continuously zone in and out, not knowing where to look. Also because it's terrible.
Photo: Kyle Blair/WENN.com
Because you look like a Muppet.
Photo: Jeff Grossman/WENN.com
If only because it will cost you double at the coat check.
Photo: Jeff Grossman/WENN.com
Just kidding, this is exactly how I want to look. Thanks Fashion Week!
Photo: Kyle Blair/WENN.com
