• Wed, Feb 13 2013

Dating Hijinks: ‘Bitches Be Crazy!’ (It Was Just A Matter Of Time Before Some Dude Would Say That)

bitches be crazyOn Wednesdays, Amanda Chatel will be sharing stories about her strange, fascinating and sometimes wonderful dating life. If it makes you want to date, check out TheGloss dating page.

We have met some strange ones here on Dating Hijinks, but this “dude” in question seems to have a death wish and an affinity for social torture. Most of it doesn’t make sense, you’ll be confused, but in the end you’ll be happy with the results.

I had a very short series of dates with one fellow I met through online dating. We went to the park with his dog and ate ice cream for our first date, which was quite nice and normal. I met up with some new girlfriends to tell them about it, and it turned out that one of those girlfriends was also chatting with him through online dating, but had not met him in real life! Weird coincidence!

I had another date with the dude, where he regaled me with tales of how he loves picking up hitchhikers late at night on lonely roads (which is obviously crazy), and then he proceeded to stop and get gas without turning off the car, leaving me afraid that I was going to blow up while sitting inside the car. I asked him if he had a death wish; he just laughed.

At another dinner with my girlfriends, at a restaurant across the street from his house, the friend who’d also chatted with him online texted him to come meet us. He did. However, he walked into the restaurant, and sat right down at our table without saying hello. Of the 3 women at the table, I was the only one he’d met in real life.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in a more awkward situation. We all just stared at him for a few seconds, and when it became clear he wasn’t going to speak, we resumed our conversation. About 2 minutes later he stands up and says, “I’m going to leave.” And leave he did.

After we finished dinner, I called him and asked, “WTF dude? That was so weird!” We proceeded to have some stilted conversation, and at one point he said, “Bitches be crazy!” I informed him that I was neither a bitch nor crazy, and I didn’t need to see him again.

I heard about 4 months later that he’d gotten married to a gal he knocked up. Now it’s two years later, and he’s married with 2 kids, and he tries to chat with me from time to time and tell me how great I was, and that it scared him how much he liked me and he wishes he’d handled it differently. His most recent contact with me included a hint at wanting to have an affair, and then a week later announced on FB his wife is expecting their third child.

Dudes be crazy.

See? Happy, right? Dude is off the market. How stoked are you? Now who’s next to dish on their dating past or present? Gimme your tales of woe (or happiness?): chatel.amanda@gmail.com

Photo: QuickMeme

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  • Maggie

    I feel so bad for the woman who married that creep. Especially now that they have 3 creep-spawn!

  • http://Madibrown.com Madi Brown

    Amanda, I’ve got to heart you for being brave enough to put yourself out there in the dating pool. It seems like this guy was telling you everything you needed to know about him by his actions. He actually didn’t have to say a word. You dodged a bullet for sure.
    For Reals, and Love you best of all,
    Madi Brown