A Very Valentine’s Day Wed Bed Dead: Romantic Leads

Gloss editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff

Hello there, Gloss fans! Welcome to episode five of our our extremely excellent web series Wed Bed Dead, in which editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff must decide the (potentially very sexy) fate of three chosen bachelors. The show is a live action spin-off of their longrunning and delightful games of Fuck Marry Kill here on The Gloss.

This week, they’re honoring the much-maligned date of February 14th–otherwise known as Valentine’s Day–with a very special episode of Wed Bed Dead: romantic leads. They’ll be playing with Llyod Dobler (played by John Cusack) of Say Anything, Edward Lewis (played by Richard Gere) of Pretty Woman and Noah (played by Ryan Gosling) of The Notebook. The original idea was to do romantic comedies, but 1) they couldn’t name very many they’d both seen and this shit is all done on the fly anyway and 2) they both think The Notebook is hilarious.

Ahead, they discuss how to trick Noah into building you a house, how to destroy Llyod Dobler pyschologically (and therefore feel super important!) and the original, darker ending of Pretty Woman, which culminates in a forcible ejection from a moving vehicle:

Thats all for now, folks–tune in every Wednesday at 1:00 for new episodes of Wed Bed Dead… and don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Seriously. Don’t forget.

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    • Anna

      Richard Gere is as highly fuckable as Gosling, you guys.

    • Miss Kitty Fantastico

      I think Ashley has it this time: fuck Gosling if he’ll build you a house, marry Dobler for his slouchy ’90s wardrobe and put Gere out of his misery.

      • http://thegloss.com/ Ashley Cardiff

        I will have so many trench coats and boom boxes!

    • Dolly

      Another good use of 4 minutes on my lunch hour. Don’t understand why you guys aren’t more famous.

      • Kee

        Speaking of “lunch hour,” thanks for bleeping these videos, Gloss ladies! Now, if only the crazed laughter would stop drawing attention to my cubicle…

    • Son House


    • Allison

      I want to be a special guest star.

    • Tania

      I also hate beards. Or I just plumb don’t like them. But at least you could make him shave it off! Possibly after he builds the house, because I have a theory that beards increase house building abilities based purely on how many contractors seem to have them.

      • http://thegloss.com/ Ashley Cardiff

        Story checks out.

    • Sabrina

      Ok, this is insane. There is no answer except to marry Ryan Gosling. Then you could have all the sex, all the time. Plus you’d live in a house he built with a special painting room just for you. Plus, he would give you that speech about wanting you every day. Plus, he would stick with you forever.

    • Edith

      Great video, but what I really want to know is, “Does Winston Blake have a shitty metal video on YouTube to link to?”

      • Pickles

        He is the saddest person on the internet. :(

    • Porkchop

      None of these characters are even worth the killing.

      I’m going to spend four minutes thinking about the Philadelphia Story.