Desperate Men Sincerely Attempt To Pick Up A Robot Horse On Ok Cupid


Have you ever encountered a man who seems to hit on women via autopilot, no matter what the women say or if they are playing dead? Well, a comedic genius named Sam Kriss recently put these dudes’ persistence to the test by creating a fake female account on Ok Cupid, then responding to men’s messages exclusively in text pulled from the infamously nonsensical Twitter account horse_ebooks. Fun!

For those not in the know, horse_ebooks is the most beloved spam bot on the internet. (No, really!) Its ostensible purpose is to promote low quality, horse themed e-books, but to avoid spam detection, it also spits out random, decontextualized snatches of text scraped from various internet sources several times a day. It is funny. Some people have even made t-shirts of it!

Surprisingly (or perhaps unsurprisingly) enough, some of the men of Ok Cupid persisted in hitting on horse_ebooks for quite some time, even when it was clear they would only get gibberish in return. Here’s one example:


This just confirms what I already knew about “pick-up artists”: anyone who is dim enough to buy into “the seduction community”‘s harebrained “evolutionary psychology” driven ideas, whereby one can use “facts” about “the female brain” to get women to do what they want, is also too dim to immediately realize when they’ve encountered a troll. Either that, or these guys all have a fetish for robot horses. But are there any deeper messages to be taken from this?

Writes Kriss:

One of the major criticisms of PUA is the fact that it turns human interaction into this weird grotesque number game. But that’s exactly what online communication does a lot of the time: it follows the logic of the computer, input and output. And given that the horse robot is made out of the ephemera of online language—sales patter, ad copy, technical specifications, whatever—she fits right in on OkCupid, where everyone’s kinda advertising themselves.

Takeaway: WE ARE ALL HORSE_EBOOKS. Be afraid.

(Via Slacktory)


Share This Post:
    • Veronika Dikoun

      that conversation is comedy gold.

    • Sunger

      Single people are not happy people. Married people are FAR happier, far healthier, far saner than singles.

      Who needs the aggravation of the singles game? If I were blessed enough to be married, I would NEVER return to a singles dating site. Any married person who pretends to be single and opens himself up to more rejection from these superficial, picky single women IS A DAMN FOOL and you can tell em that BOBBY SAID THAT.

      I would say right to God that I would much prefer to be a plain looking man who has one loving wife than to be the handsomest man in the world with a different girl every night and so help me God that is The Truth.

      Its been my experience, on this and on all sites and in life, that women are far more narrow and far more perfectionistic when it comes to choosing who they do and don’t consider to be an attractive man. Us men, we will tend to see the attractiveness in most or maybe all kinds of women and we will have minds of our own when it comes to who we find attractive. I myself won’t care one whit what friends/family society’s opinion is of a certain woman, if I find her attractive then I message her, go out with her, fall in love with her and I think most men are the same way.

      Not so women. It looks to me that women have a far more monolithic uniform view as to what is attractiveness in a man or is it that women are more concerned than we are about their friends/family’s/society’s opinion of a man’s looks and will back away from a prospective date/mate if friends/family/society wouldn’t think that the man was handsome?

      Thank you for telling the public the truth about the unfortunate and foolish pickiness of single women in that you admitted that your studies showed the average single woman thinks herself to be more physically attractive than 85% of single men.