Good Things That Came Out Of My Teenage Wicca Years

beautiful creatures

So, I went to see Beautiful Creatures yesterday, and thought, “how great. A whole new generation of pre-teen girls are going to get absorbed into Wicca, and not just because they watch Buffy and The Craft compulsively.”

I did that. The Wicca thing. For about a year when I was thirteen. As I recall it consisted of me writing spells – which are really just poems, with a point – and lighting a whole bunch of candles. Fortunately, nothing bad happened as a result of this. Then a year later I discovered Ayn Rand, and that took up the next three months. Some good things that came out of that. Wicca. Nothing good came out Ayn Rand. Namely:

I have a lovely decorative candle collection, many of which are scented

I learned how to meditate, something which I never actually do, but it’s good to know how to do.

A lot of things that are supposed to allow for astral projection actually do help you get to sleep at night.

It probably made me like cats more

It inspired many slumber parties!

It’s pretty good to realize that poems should actually have a point, and shouldn’t just be random, multi-syllabic words you like flung desperately together (“the fichu of my rumpus bloodstained lacrimentations” etc.)

I have the ability to teleport, and have killed three men using only my eyes.

Picture via Beautiful Creatures

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    • randinewton

      God, I love you more and more. I have to tell you about the time I tried to cast love a spell on the beach in LA (nothing bad happened, and neither did anything good.)

    • Beverly McLaughlin

      AH. Wicca, The Craft, all of this. I now need to see this movie, for old time’s sake. :)

    • Fabel

      For me, it was The Craft & The Secret Circle series by L.J. Smith. I think I still have my “spellbook” somewhere :-|

    • Bethany Moore

      I’m still practicing Wicca and have even published articles on religious equality for Pagans. Can I contribute a Wicca-related article to this website? Can we talk?? I have a lot to say. :)

    • Your Brain

      “Beautiful Creatures” is not Wicca. The good ones are supposed to be Protestants, the bad ones Catholics. It’s not even coded too much. Just like in the friggin Twilight movies. The reason? It’s a huge market in terms of “weird” pattern-recognition.