• Wed, Feb 20 2013

The Pros And Cons Of Admitting A Sexual Fetish In Your Online Dating Profile

You look like you need a good spanking.

You look like you need a good spanking.

I do not have an online dating profile. I’m not against it; it’s just not for me. From time to time, I’ll log into a friend’s account just so I can see what’s out there, but am usually disappointed, so the fleeting idea of “I’m going to try online dating!” dissipates in less than five minutes. Maybe I’m not giving it enough time.

Recently, a friend forwarded me a profile of a guy who lives here in Paris. She sent it to me because the gentleman and I have some things in common, both sexually and otherwise. I was intrigued as to how open he was about his kinks. He knew what he wanted, he admitted to thinking about BDSM all the time and, basically, you couldn’t be stunned if you took him up on a date and he asked you mid-dessert, if you wanted to be spanked. It was refreshing.

But opening yourself up like that online also seems to be a bit terrifying. You’re exposing an intimate part of yourself and in doing so, are allowing people, if they must, judge, or expect/assume things about you just because of your fetish. I took my concerns to an expert on the matter: Ms. Jessica Wakeman of TheFrisky.

Jessica has been more than open about her spanking fetish and also wrote a great piece explaining exactly what having a fetish entails. (Breaking news, you guys, unless you sexually get off on shopping, you don’t have a “shopping fetish.” What you have there is probably a spending addiction.)

Admitting to your sexual fetish in your online dating profile, “isn’t for the faint of heart,” says Jessica. You have to be really comfortable with what you’re revealing, and the likely creepsters who will come with it:

Because by publicly “outing” yourself as an an empowered, sexual woman who knows what she wants in bed, you are unfortunately opening yourself up to creeps. Creeps are the ones who still suffer from the virgin/whore dichotomy (the idea that women are either “pure” or “dirty”) and thus believe that because a woman has had sex with SOME men, she’ll have sex with ALL men. By simply clarifying what your sexual needs are, you will attract men who think that the very admission that you have needs is your invitation to them that you’re willing and ready for their pervy messages.

Perverts can sometimes be fun, in small amounts, but who the hell wants to be bombarded by inane messages from guys who just think you’re an easy fuck? So, go for it; put it out there, just remember a lot of people don’t “get” fetishes and that right there could lead to more than a few “facepalm” moments. There are pros and cons to everything in life — even shopping addictions.

Photo: Bettie Page Tribute 

What We're Reading:
Share This Post:
  • Tania

    If I’ve learned nothing from reddit.com/r/creepypms but this one thing, it’s that creepers don’t care what’s in your profile. They just seem to get more specific in their creepiness if there’s any indication of preferences.

  • likeapub.com

    it’s fine as long you know what you are doing…. :-)

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/GYEXVXDBX4APIEKVP55YEPPQW4 X

    Great shot – shows even years ago how kinky folks are!

  • motorhead lemmy

    The ladies can obviously speak for themselves, but I think it is a very bad idea for men to do this. Demographics are so stacked against us it is almost unrealistic to think many of us will ever have a ltr with a fellow kinkster lady, and have it end well. Paying for it provides many safeguards, but the elasticity of demand for vices varies wildly and more and more guys would rather spend $250 on a 10 pack of X, a bottle of Scotch, and a Sativa hybrid.