The 2013 Brit Awards happened yesterday and attracted a bunch of big stars–Taylor Swift, Justin Timberlake… uh… Lana Del Rey? She’s famous for the internet.
Well, here are the attendees we recognized, along with a few we didn’t (in strikingly hideous dresses).
We don’t know who Jessie Ware is, but we do know that midriff-baring gowns have a less than one percent chance of working.
Also, when will the clodhopper platform go away?
Corinne Bailey Rae would look really nice if this were an awards luncheon–we like her thin belt and subtle makeup, we’re not opposed to the wrinkled material–but she looks way underdressed in context.
…The context of “Labrinth.”
Iggy Azalea wore a Morticia Addams gown and we’ve seen way better Morticia Addams gowns in our day.
Frank Ocean‘s flower print shirt rules.
Justin Timberlake was so shiny!
This one pains us. Gemma Arterton is such a babe (and her hair is beautiful!) but this dress is really unflattering. That wide horizontal line hits at exactly the wrong place, the cardigan fit is rumpled and… who chose green ankle straps for this?
Also, maybe we’re just opposed to red sequins.
And then there were some other problems with it.
This is Stooshe. They did a real bummer of a “Waterfalls” cover.
Still standing by our claim that Paloma Faith is just pin-up Helena Bonham Carter.
Models always show up at awards shows being like, “I’m ten feet tall and seven of them is legs.” So they just wear a micro-mini and high heels and think they don’t have to try (see every Victoria’s Secret event red carpet ever). Jordan Dunn, despite her impressive good looks, disappoints.
Boy George wore the world’s biggest hat!
Lana del Rey also looked really, really underdressed. But she was smilier than usual.
Here she is posing with boyfriend Barrie-James O’Neill. Everything about her look is bad news.
Rita Ora wore clingy peach and contrasting makeup.
The Smurfs stopped by.
We don’t know what “Aluna Francis” is but this photo made us laugh.
It’s Bat For Lashes! This floaty dress works for her whole ethereal moon chanteuse thing. Also, she’s pretty great.
This is what people are calling Taylor Swift’s “revenge dress,” we guess because this awards show is on ex-boyfriend Harry Styles‘ home turf and Taylor Swift can turn fucking anything into a sales angle. We like her makeup, but the hair is cheesy and the dress is dumb.
And oh god, those shoes. Those shoes are the worst.
Jessie J! That’s not a neckline!
GO HOME, JESSIE J’S DRESS. YOU ARE DRUNK.
Berenice Marlohe is apparently a perfect hourglass turned into a beautiful human. It is remarkable to look at!
But we do not like her tinfoil dress.
Robbie Williams! Purple suit!
Let’s have this stuck in our heads for hours now:
(All photos via Wenn)
