• Thu, Feb 21 2013

Red Carpet Rundown: Justin Timberlake, Taylor Swift’s Revenge Dress & More At The 2013 Brit Awards

Taylor Swift

The 2013 Brit Awards happened yesterday and attracted a bunch of big stars–Taylor Swift, Justin Timberlake… uh… Lana Del Rey? She’s famous for the internet.

Well, here are the attendees we recognized, along with a few we didn’t (in strikingly hideous dresses).

Jessie WareWe don’t know who Jessie Ware is, but we do know that midriff-baring gowns have a less than one percent chance of working.

Also, when will the clodhopper platform go away?

 Corinne Bailey Rae Corinne Bailey Rae would look really nice if this were an awards luncheon–we like her thin belt and subtle makeup, we’re not opposed to the wrinkled material–but she looks way underdressed in context.

Labrinth…The context of “Labrinth.”

Iggy Azalea Iggy Azalea wore a Morticia Addams gown and we’ve seen way better Morticia Addams gowns in our day.

Frank Ocean Frank Ocean‘s flower print shirt rules.

Justin Timberlake Justin Timberlake was so shiny!

Gemma ArtertonThis one pains us. Gemma Arterton is such a babe (and her hair is beautiful!) but this dress is really unflattering. That wide horizontal line hits at exactly the wrong place, the cardigan fit is rumpled and… who chose green ankle straps for this?

Also, maybe we’re just opposed to red sequins.

Gemma ArtertonAnd then there were some other problems with it.

StoosheThis is Stooshe. They did a real bummer of a “Waterfalls” cover.

Paloma FaithStill standing by our claim that Paloma Faith is just pin-up Helena Bonham Carter.

Jordan DunnModels always show up at awards shows being like, “I’m ten feet tall and seven of them is legs.” So they just wear a micro-mini and high heels and think they don’t have to try (see every Victoria’s Secret event red carpet ever). Jordan Dunn, despite her impressive good looks, disappoints.

Boy George Boy George wore the world’s biggest hat!

Lana del Rey Lana del Rey also looked really, really underdressed. But she was smilier than usual.

Lana Del Ray Here she is posing with boyfriend Barrie-James O’Neill. Everything about her look is bad news.

Rita Ora Rita Ora wore clingy peach and contrasting makeup.

One Direction The Smurfs stopped by.

Aluna FrancisWe don’t know what “Aluna Francis” is but this photo made us laugh.

Natasha KhanIt’s Bat For Lashes! This floaty dress works for her whole ethereal moon chanteuse thing. Also, she’s pretty great.

Taylor SwiftThis is what people are calling Taylor Swift’s “revenge dress,” we guess because this awards show is on ex-boyfriend Harry Styles‘ home turf and Taylor Swift can turn fucking anything into a sales angle. We like her makeup, but the hair is cheesy and the dress is dumb.

And oh god, those shoes. Those shoes are the worst.

Jessie J Jessie J! That’s not a neckline!

Jessie JGO HOME, JESSIE J’S DRESS. YOU ARE DRUNK.

Berenice Marlohe Berenice Marlohe is apparently a perfect hourglass turned into a beautiful human. It is remarkable to look at!

But we do not like her tinfoil dress.

Robbie Williams Robbie Williams! Purple suit!

Let’s have this stuck in our heads for hours now:

(All photos via Wenn)

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  • http://www.facebook.com/naomi.kashinsky Naomi Kashinsky

    For a second, I thought that Robbie Williams was Morrissey.

  • Gina

    I’ve got to say I really really liked Taylor Swift’s dress. If only because it wasn’t white for once!!! For a moment I thought the picture was photoshopped and the actual dress WAS white.

    Seriously, I think it’s a good look for her.
    Also, what’s Stooshe and why does the girl in the middle of Stooshe look like a zombie hybrid of Janelle Monae and Emeli Sande?