I paid my tab — which had my extra beer taken off, because the bartender said he “felt bad for me” — and we three left. There were numerous cops who raised their eyebrows at her drunken swagger, but still, the girlfriend kept saying hello to everybody and insisting we keep drinking. She attempted to hold my hand over and over, then would run and try to dance to songs being played. It was embarrassing, but fortunately, I was in Disney World and there are far weirder and more embarrassing things that go on there.
As we’re walking along, the guy tells her to speed up ahead. He then turns to me and says, “You need to promise me something.” I ask what it is, since I know better than to promise anything before asking the specifics. ”You need to promise me that you’ll help me get her into bed.”
“Uhhh, no,” I said back, trying to be as polite as possible about it. “Sorry, I just have to get back to my room.”
“No, no — after you help me get her into bed… I’ll help you get into your room. It’s a win-win.”
I kind of just stared at him, then realized that my judgment had been totally off: dude was totally a creep. Shit. I declined his offer by stating that, no, I had already walked to my room the night before, and that I would be just fine doing so again. It’s a Disney hotel; it’s not a hostel on the outskirts of Rome.
This did not please him. He then got incredibly angry with his girlfriend, seemingly pissed at her for ruining their or his chances of getting laid with somebody new, and started yelling at her. He kept saying, “You can just go stay in her room” while gesturing to me. I was startled that Normal Dude had suddenly shifted gears so radically after it became clear that I was not going to be down with his totally creepy plan to “walk me back to my room.” He pushed her away and kept yelling at her until we finally got into the hotel lobby.
“Last chance,” he said to me, half-smiling.
“Are you suuure you…dun wanna come with…us?” his girlfriend drawled.
She then started dry heaving, and while he took care of her, I bolted to my room. While in the elevator, I began laughing and couldn’t stop all the way to my room. Even though it was definitely a weird night, it was hilarious in its own way. Of course, I am a little pissed that the dude managed to trick me into thinking he had no malintentions, but then again, it was stupid of me to think somebody at Disney World is somehow more trustworthy than any other random person at a bar. Either way, I think I’ll just stay clear of any sort of romantic or desperately unromantic encounters at theme parks in the future.
Photo: Me
prev
