Jabbrowocky

Jabberwocky
With all the usual apologies to Lewis Carroll.

`Twas chilling, and the hardcore bros
Did fest and crush it in the cave:
All lifting were the brogrammers,
And the mome frats outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabbrowock, my son!
The bitch that bites, the hags that catch!
Beware the Unchill bird, and shun
The gay-ass Bandersnatch!”

He rocked his lax stick well in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought –
He billed back by the Tumtum tree,
And pounded Muscle Milks in thought.

And, as in epic thought he stood,
The Jabbrowock, with eyes of flame,
Came smanging through the tulgey wood,
And rage sauced as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The wand did hella rip the stack!
He killed it dead, and took its shit,
And went galumphing back.

“And, has thou slain the Jabbrowock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O legit day! Respect! Callay!’
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas chilling, and the hardcore bros
Did fest and crush it in the cave:
All lifting were the brogrammers,
And the mome frats outgrabe.

[Image via Wikimedia Commons]

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    • katie

      “Came smanging through the tulgey wood”

      MELIS.

    • Candace

      oh my god hilarious