Red Carpet Rundown: The 2013 Oscars Worst Dressed List

Catherine Zeta-Jones worst dressed

Last night’s Oscars ceremony was perhaps the longest in history. Lucky for us, though, the red carpet was surprisingly interesting–with clear winners, obvious losers and a lot of unusual looks and light risks in between.

Sadly, now comes the most dickish part of our job: picking the Oscars worst dressed list. Make sure to tell us how we are dumb and wrong (and mean!) in the comments below.

Jennifer HudsonJennifer Hudson‘s whole look was an absolute mess. The dress was strange and ugly enough… before we noticed the front slit.

Oh! And you can’t see them in the above photo, but her peep toe pumps were the clashing-est shade of electric blue.

Maria Menounos OscarsMaria Menounos was Malibu Barbie.

Brandi GlanvilleThe only thing confusing us more than how Brandi Glanville got invited to the Oscars is her dress. And everything else.

Nancy O'DellNancy O’Dell‘s dress was truly awful. Shoes, too. And the tan. And the jewelry and the…

Sunrise CoigneyA lot of people learned Sunrise Coigney‘s name last night for the wrong reasons.

Kelly RowlandKelly Rowland‘s whole look was a mess–the super cheesy prom updo, the dress that looked like it was tipping over, the mismatched shoes, the chunky jewelry.

Catherine Zeta-JonesCatherine Zeta-Jones dress was over-the-top Zuhair Murad, paired with way too much bronzer.

Naomie HarrisDid Naomie Harris‘ dress remind anyone else of Fred Flintstone?

Nicole Kidman Oscars worst dressedSounds like popular opinion was actually pro-Nicole Kidman.

Good thing we don’t base our opinions on the popular ones, because Kidman’s L’Wren Scott struck us really, really gaudy.

Halle BerrySpeaking of gaudy, Halle Berry was practically a lock for Worst Dressed of the night. But at least her dress fit, right?

Melissa McCarthyThe title of worst dressed, sadly, goes to the funny and talented Melissa McCarthy. Everything about this failed: the fabric, the cut, the fit and–more than anything–the hair.

(all photos via Getty)

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    • Nancy

      Yes! let’s blast other woman -that, to be honest are all looking very nice-. It is great to judge each-other all the time, at all levels, but in particular, in that really really important aspect that defines all of us: CLOTHES!

      • Sarah!

        Dude, this is a fashion and beauty website.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Thanks Daniela, Sarah! and Brianna for jumping to our defense on this one.

        I try not to be a complete asshole about this stuff for a lot of reasons–mainly because I’m 100% certain I’d end up on a Worst Dressed list if invited to any red carpet ceremony. And I’m cool with that.

        Moreover, stuff that looks good in person often moves and photographs very differently, so we rank these based on glimpses from photo databases, which you could absolutely argue isn’t fair.

        Also. How scary would attending the Oscars be?

        But, yeah, anyway. We obviously have to do a worst dressed list.

      • Nancy

        I don’t know, I am just grumpy I guess. I never enjoyed the “who wore it better” or these list of worst/best. Feels like the classical competition we are always pushed on, but this message is very reasonable, and I also don’t want to be an asshole (though I’m pretty sure I am). So sorry mostly for the bitterness and the caps.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        I think we resolved this well.

      • Daniela

        You do realize this is a fashion/beauty blog, right?

      • Brianna

        Um, were you aware this is a fashion site? It would be one thing if she were talking shit about body shapes or nose sizes, but she’s talking about clothing choices. On a fashion site.

      • Nancy

        Ok, I was maybe a bit too harsh, but still, can we be positive? We can discuss fashion and beauty without choosing the worst. Is like in a fitness blog they had a section of: fattest people. It is just not nice.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Uhhh… ranking the worst dressed at the Oscars on a fashion site is not like bodysnarking.

    • Ara

      aww, I liked CZJ’s look.

    • zanbrody

      I’m going to go Maria Menounos for worst dressed. It’s just hard to envision anyone looking in the mirror with that dress/hair/jewelry pairing and thinking “Oh yes. Yes yes yes this is a winner”. At least Halle’s dress fit like a glove and looked amazing when she presented because there you could see how sheer and liquid-like it was when she walked. Her golden globes dress was there same–awful awful on the carpet, but beautiful on film because her body is insane.

      Catherine Zeta Jones seemed to be not just wearing bronzer, but a super duper thick coating of body makeup, the heavy stage kind that isn’t for any sort of up close photographing. I thought her dress was okay overall, but the makeup gave her a severe unnatural look.

      Oh and the Sunrise girl totally looked like a project runway dress fail. I can hear Nina Garcia and Heidi Klum calling it sad, frumpy and bizarre.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        I strongly endorse this comment.

    • alexandra

      Brandi Glanville managed to display her boobs in the least enticing way possible, while Jennifer Hudson did the same with her inner thighs. ick.

    • anna

      aw, leave catherine and nicole out of this! they’re so unoffending! and shiny! very shiny. i guess i just like shiny things.

      • Alexis H

        I’m inclined to agree, those are the only two I didn’t 100% endorse for worst dressed, but the shininess is a little Vegas, so I get why they’re here. As I mentioned in a previous comment, I love me some kitsch. Fashion typically doesn’t.

      • Megan H.

        Catherine’s dress isn’t that awful to me , but on a blog I read someone said that the top od Nicole’s dress looked like a face and the sequins on her space was the mouth. No I can’t stop looking at it…. It looks like its going to eat someone.

    • msenesac

      I’m surprised Kristen Stewart with her greasy hair wasn’t on this list.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        I was actually really split about adding Stewart here (she’ll be on the Worst Beauty list, don’t you worry).

        But her Reem Acra gown was both kind of pretty and kind of unflattering. I was wondering what other people would think.

      • msenesac

        The dress was ok (not the best, not the worst). It’s the acquired/bored, greasy look that gets me.

      • Zanbrody

        Can she get worst fit gown? I don’t know how much you can see in pics, but when she presented and they showed her from the side you could see the bodice was floating several inches away from her body, totally un-tailored.

    • Lynne

      You forgot Heidi Klum. Her dress was horrid.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Her dress was indeed horrid–but I didn’t see any photos of her at the Oscars proper, just the Elton John party.

    • RM

      I don’t Melissa McCarthy’s dress is that bad. I mean, if I had that much $$ and designers to choose from, it wouldn’t be my choice (although I kinda like it), but it doesn’t come close to sucking as much as Sunrise whoever’s.

    • Alexis H

      Oh, Maria Menounos. I love that look in a really perverse way. It hits me right in the special place in my heart that loves kitsch. Would I wear any of that to the Oscars? FUCK NO. Would I wear it unironically as guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race? FUCK YES.

      I do feel pretty good about this list, though.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        I see your point (and I’m glad you agree otherwise).

    • Katy Hearne

      I have this one really comfy jersey knit t-shirt, night gown thing that I wear almost every night & it is the best, ratty old thing ever. Imagine my surprise when I saw that Melissa McCarthy snuck in my house, bedazzled the hell out of it & wore it to the Oscars!

      Also, does anyone else wish Halle Berry’s dress had.. like… crazy dramatic shoulder pads? Wouldn’t that be amazing? I think that would be amazing.

      • Alexis H

        Yeah, those shoulders were super cray. It really made her body look like an action figure or something, like there was a weird optical illusion on her proportions.

    • EKW2188

      Maria’s dress would have been beautiful with more demure hair and less boobage, I think the fit and color (overall) were very pretty on her.

    • devylish

      I love love Melissa, but we all were like.. girrrl.. because on SNL she clearly showed much better taste in her opening outfit. She can really look glam for a curvy lady. That outfit did nothing for her and the hair.. I can’t even.. I was torn on CZJ, but my gut reaction was over the top as well. I rather liked Nicole Kidman’s though. There was something kind of Metropolis/Goth about it. She was much softer overall I thought than her Globes look where the bf called her an ice queen. But KStew was pretty bad. Horrid hair and I’d agree her dress was pretty but didn’t look like it fit her well. She had no curves and seemed very tomboyish (not to mention so uninterested to be there).

    • devylish

      And sorry – I was a big fan of Halle’s dress. I liked the zoot suit shoulders and the stripes.. I liked everything about it. The bf will agree w/ you though, he hated it.

      • allison ♥

        Same here! It felt pretty and risky. Thank goodness for Halle stepping out of the soft mermaid trend everyone else seemed to embrace.

    • …her?

      I can’t stop staring at Brandi Glanville’s dress, ugh it is so bad, I just want to order it for her in a bigger size. Brandi, don’t you ever do that again!

    • Meghan

      This list forgot Sally Fields. Yuck.

    • MR

      Again just one guy’s opinion, but Nicole’s dress though a little loud – just a little :) – still silhouettes her figure very nicely.

    • Sensational

      Are you kidding me??? Nicole Kidman was, as usual, G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S!! The dress is striking, stunning and so is she. I love Kerry Washington, for example, and liked her dress but it didn’t seem nearly as haute coiture or stunning as some of the other dresses on the runway so I was curious why she was on Best Dressed and Nicole wasn’t. I also liked Halle Berry’s bold art deco look although it’s not the most flattering I’ve ever seen her wear, not that anyone could easily pull that dress off. (It gave her a slight pouch). Also where was Jennifer Garner’s dress which is thought was truly beautiful, a bold, unusual color and really, really pretty silouette.