• Thu, Feb 28 2013

Sketchers Debuts New Line Of Sneaker Wedges Called (Actually) Daddy’$ Money

daddys money sketchers sneaker wedges

Actual screenshot that we didn’t just make a second ago in Microsoft Paint.

In the grand tradition of marketing angles that patronize, marginalize and degrade women and girls–from yogurt commercials to t-shirts celebrating stupiditySketchers has released a new collection of sneaker wedges aimed at teen girls… called Daddy’$ Money. Get it? Because girls love spending daddy’s money (and dressing like a fucking Lisa Frank trapper keeper, apparently).

The ad campaign can charitably be described as a “surrealistic nightmare” for a number of reasons. Is the eponymous Daddy here a father or another kind of father? Why do we need to sell things to women by making them out to be shallow and venal? Why is there so much goddamn leopard print?

Speaking of which, each style bears it’s own dumb name. They break down like this:

Gimme Kisses” (a lip print), “Gimme Wicked” (leopard-print), “Gimme Starry Skies” (star print) and just plain “Gimme” (flowers, inexplicably).

What consumptive parasites we are!

Then again, the worst offense of all is that this sneaker wedge trend refuses to die, despite being the most comically ugly It-shoe since Uggs.

Here’s the TV spot, if you want to hate the world. Oh, and be warned, the art direction is so scattershot and the commercial itself so garish that rational doubt and faith in the human race will combine to convince you it isn’t real.

That’s pride fucking with you:”

(via HuffPost Style)

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  • Fabel

    This cannot be fucking real, can it? Sketchers is really associated with this? They “developed” this ad, & were like, “Yes, brilliant” & then decided to run it?

    I don’t, I can’t. What?

  • Jessie

    ……I…what….okay fine…but how secret is the ‘secret heel’. The heel seems pretty visible to begin with, and if for some reason daddy didn’t see it before you put the shoe on, im sure after you put it on and you’re suddenly 2 inches taller SOMETHING will seem a miss?

    • http://thegloss.com/ Ashley Cardiff

      They bombard you with the visuals so you don’t ask questions.

  • Porkchop

    Holy unf***ed mother of Christ.

    • http://thegloss.com/ Ashley Cardiff

      Exactly.

  • http://www.facebook.com/magda.nunez2 Magda Nunez

    First, I enjoyed your use of the word eponymous. Secondly, years ago, I believe I was in the second grade, I convinced my mother to buy me these horrendous sneaker heel things from sketchers that were a baby pink fake suede with a pleather tongue and a bright red kiss on it… At the time they were my favorite shoes but now I realize they were abismal! My only consolation is finding out, years later, that my best friend had the same shoes in black.

  • http://liquidwaffles.tumblr.com/ pope_suburban

    Who is responsible for this? I need to know who to shoot into the sun.