Last night saw the NME Awards at The Troxy in London. With it came all the sexy accents and amazing moments one might expect. For example, music legendsÂ Johnny Marr and Ronnie Wood played “How Soon Is Now?” and Yannis from Foals lit a cigarette inside (okay, that second one is just kind of amusing). Oh, and One Direction won the Worst Band award while Harry Styles won the Villain of the Year award, because England is amazing and gives awards for stuff like that. Lucky meanies!
But along with the weird awards granted to teenagers who’ve just been hit in the groin by a shoe, there was also some genuinely terrible fashion that went down. Not just “has awkward taste” bad; these outfits were horrible in so many ways that they makeÂ Look At This F’ing HipsterÂ seem like aÂ Vogue editorial. From bellbottoms to sheer everything to bad accessories, this red carpet was almost entirely a disaster zone.
Oh, and everybody looked really miserable for some reason.
I’m unsure of the lookÂ Charli XCX is going for here, but whatever it is was a terrible idea. Platform creepers + ripped tights + …well, actually, you have eyes and can tell how ridiculous this ensemble is.
For the most part,Â The Temples‘ outfits were just fine. But I do not discriminate bad male vs. female fashion, and I will never not crinkle my nose at a purple velvet shirt paired with too-tight pants and a gold chain (this outfit pops up in LA more than you can imagine).
C’mon guys, we talked about this: no more cut outs! For shame,Â Laura Whitmore…shame.
Oh dear,Â Florence Welch, what on earth are you doing lately? First the Godzilla/Poison Ivy costume, and now this?
Ronnie Wood dressed like his normal self whileÂ Sally Humphreys actually looked rather stunning. Granted, the bar was set pretty low style-wise, but compared to everybody else, she might as well be crowned Belle of the Ball.
I knowÂ Russell Kane is a comedian, but this animal print bonanza is no laughing matter. I can’t tell if he is running away from publicly wearing these clothes or simply trying to give us all aÂ really good look at how terrible this outfit is. Either way, he needs to stop matching his hair to his shoes.
SingerÂ Sky FerreiraÂ chose a normal outfit for any ol’ day. Although seriously: why was almost everybody scowling or looking pained at this event? Was Harry Styles that much of a villain?
Sorry,Â Aluna Francis, but those half-zipped sneakers plus that minidress look very silly together.
MusiciansÂ Carl Barat and Edie Langley looking (appropriately?) miserable for the occasion. Apparently the schoolgirl look was big last night.
We have no idea who this guy is, but holy shit @ this outfit.
Jade Williams chose a mint green dress suit.
Theo Hutchcraft and Adam Anderson of the synthpop duo Hurts reminded me that a man in a crisp black outfit can invariably woo me no matter what.
Again, not sure who this unlisted guest is, but she looks like a combination of Eva Longoria and Kim Kardashian (i.e. she is very pretty). However, the poofball shoes and boxy matador jacket need to go immediately.
This outfit is rather weird, butÂ Holly Cook is doesn’t look like she might vomit or cry unlike 95% of everyone on the red carpet. Therefore, this is one of my favorite looks.
This isÂ Deap Valley and, yes, this is the worst pair of red carpet looks you have likely ever seen.
THANK YOUÂ KATY B FOR LOOKING ADORA — dammit, those shoes. :( Well, nevertheless, this is easily one of the best looks on this list, so we’ll take it!
Photos: Daniel Deme/WENN.com, Getty.