• Thu, Feb 28 2013

Red Carpet Rundown: Everything Was Bad & Everyone Looked Miserable At The NME Awards

NME

Last night saw the NME Awards at The Troxy in London. With it came all the sexy accents and amazing moments one might expect. For example, music legends Johnny Marr and Ronnie Wood played “How Soon Is Now?” and Yannis from Foals lit a cigarette inside (okay, that second one is just kind of amusing). Oh, and One Direction won the Worst Band award while Harry Styles won the Villain of the Year award, because England is amazing and gives awards for stuff like that. Lucky meanies!

But along with the weird awards granted to teenagers who’ve just been hit in the groin by a shoe, there was also some genuinely terrible fashion that went down. Not just “has awkward taste” bad; these outfits were horrible in so many ways that they make Look At This F’ing Hipster seem like a Vogue editorial. From bellbottoms to sheer everything to bad accessories, this red carpet was almost entirely a disaster zone.

Oh, and everybody looked really miserable for some reason.

The 2013 NME Awards

I’m unsure of the look Charli XCX is going for here, but whatever it is was a terrible idea. Platform creepers + ripped tights + …well, actually, you have eyes and can tell how ridiculous this ensemble is.

The 2013 NME Awards

For the most part, The Temples‘ outfits were just fine. But I do not discriminate bad male vs. female fashion, and I will never not crinkle my nose at a purple velvet shirt paired with too-tight pants and a gold chain (this outfit pops up in LA more than you can imagine).

The 2013 NME Awards

C’mon guys, we talked about this: no more cut outs! For shame, Laura Whitmoreshame.

The 2013 NME Awards

Oh dear, Florence Welch, what on earth are you doing lately? First the Godzilla/Poison Ivy costume, and now this?

The 2013 NME Awards

Ronnie Wood dressed like his normal self while Sally Humphreys actually looked rather stunning. Granted, the bar was set pretty low style-wise, but compared to everybody else, she might as well be crowned Belle of the Ball.

The 2013 NME Awards

I know Russell Kane is a comedian, but this animal print bonanza is no laughing matter. I can’t tell if he is running away from publicly wearing these clothes or simply trying to give us all a really good look at how terrible this outfit is. Either way, he needs to stop matching his hair to his shoes.

The 2013 NME Awards

Singer Sky Ferreira chose a normal outfit for any ol’ day. Although seriously: why was almost everybody scowling or looking pained at this event? Was Harry Styles that much of a villain?

The 2013 NME Awards

Sorry, Aluna Francis, but those half-zipped sneakers plus that minidress look very silly together.

The 2013 NME Awards

Musicians Carl Barat and Edie Langley looking (appropriately?) miserable for the occasion. Apparently the schoolgirl look was big last night.

NME Awards

We have no idea who this guy is, but holy shit @ this outfit.

NME Awards 2013 - Red Carpet Arrivals

Jade Williams chose a mint green dress suit.

NME Awards

Theo Hutchcraft and Adam Anderson of the synthpop duo Hurts reminded me that a man in a crisp black outfit can invariably woo me no matter what.

NME Awards

Again, not sure who this unlisted guest is, but she looks like a combination of Eva Longoria and Kim Kardashian (i.e. she is very pretty). However, the poofball shoes and boxy matador jacket need to go immediately.

NME Awards 2013 - Red Carpet Arrivals

This outfit is rather weird, but Holly Cook is doesn’t look like she might vomit or cry unlike 95% of everyone on the red carpet. Therefore, this is one of my favorite looks.

NME Awards

This is Deap Valley and, yes, this is the worst pair of red carpet looks you have likely ever seen.

NME Awards

THANK YOU KATY B FOR LOOKING ADORA — dammit, those shoes. :( Well, nevertheless, this is easily one of the best looks on this list, so we’ll take it!

Photos: Daniel Deme/WENN.com, Getty.

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  • Fabel

    “We have no idea who this guy is, but holy shit @ this outfit.”

    Damn it, I was hoping for a name on that guy! (And, er, NOT because I find him strangely attractive or anything like that. Nope.)

    As a side note, I’m not used to seeing everyone carry such big purses?

    • http://www.facebook.com/sameurysm Samantha Escobar

      I did notice that! There were a few people I didn’t post who had giant effing envelope bags that looked like such a pain to carry without a strap.

    • cathy

      his name is the child of lov and won the philip glass radar award

  • thousandwatts

    That mint green dress suit looks like she made it out of my grandmother’s guest towels.