10 Things That Happened When I Tried A Pole Dancing Class

pole dancing class

I feel like every time I pick up the Daily Mail I read about a woman who is losing weight by pole dancing. Every time. It appears all they have to do is go in and they are losing weight and swinging their bodies around the pole like a spider monkey. I thought maybe it would be fun to write my own article about things that happened when I tried a pole dancing class at my gym. This happened:

1) I realized I should probably get a pair of those leggings. You know the kind. The butt hugging kind. The kind that is not my floppy work-out pants.

2) Your legs just tangle in those floppy pants. They just tangle all the time. But I did not want it to look like I was trying too hard to be sexy. I guess I learned it’s okay to look overtly sexy and work-outs based upon stripping.

3) The Pussycat Dolls are, if not a good band, certainly a good band for this type of thing.

4) Every single person in the class is more agile than me.

5) There is a 70 year old man twirling around that pole like the limberest of spider monkeys.

6) I fell down.

7) I fell down again.

8) I fell down and I’m lying on the floor, tangled in a little heap, kicking vainly against my yoga pants.

9) 70 year old men are helping me up and assuring me pole dancing is easy. This is high on the list of personal worst moments in my life.

10) I lost absolutely no weight, not one single pound.

Picture via Wikipedia

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    • http://www.facebook.com/sameurysm Samantha Escobar

      My friend in Boise made me take a class with her when I visited, insisting it was “so relaxing” and “easier than you think.” Yeah, it’s not. It’s impossible. I gave up after 45 minutes of bruising my leg against the pole.

    • TinyNinjas

      Pole dancing is a BEAST! While it’s not fat shedding like running, it is pure strength training using your body weight. One of my instructors makes us hold ourselves straight out from the pole and spin using just our arms to keep us up. Just thinking about it makes my shoulders and arms hurt.

    • http://helloalle.com/ Alle

      HOLD THE PHONES. I thought we ladies only wore leggings and yoga pants to arouse the lustful boners of men?!?! You mean there are actual physical activities where one must wear tight pants for safety as well as ease of movement? I AM SHOCKED.

    • Pixie

      I’m super clumsy so there’s no way I could do pole dancing without getting a concussion. I take Neo-Burlesque classes instead, and I’m hoping to start Hooping (yes, with a hula hoop) soon. Burlesque is so much fun and definitely a good workout for legs and butt and waist.