• Mon, Mar 4 - 4:40 pm ET

6 Ways To Drive Your Man Wild With Lust

drive him wild with lust

This week, I wrote a piece for The New York Post on how men do not want to have sex all the time, and that is sad for women. I kind of played it off like it was a normal thing, and not a reflection on you, but I was lying. Here is how to drive your man wild with lust all the time. Here. Do everything here. It’s totally accurate because there are totally formulas that make people do precisely what you want the second you want it.

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Related Topics: Advice Sex & Dating • • • •
  • NBP

    This was the worst article I have ever read.

  • Sean

    A surefire (and inexpensive) way to drive your man wild with lustful desires, is to wait until he’s asleep, then whisper to him that you bought and are wearing the slave Leia costume from Return of the Jedi. He’ll be awake and good to go within 5 seconds.

    The best part, is you don’t even have to buy the costume. In his groggy state he won’t know or care.

    PS. If he doesn’t know why that’s hot, quietly and quickly report him to the appropriate authorities as he is probably a space alien and/or robot.

  • Cate

    You forgot the yoga pants! Just wear yoga pants ALL THE TIME!

    • Sean

      Seconded.

    • Mr. Anderson

      If my lady wore yoga pants all the time,I would be “ready” all the time ;)

  • Lisa(r)

    Wait, why do those muffins have two paper linings each? Is that the lust secret??!

    Also “be a shape shifter” = wear a Billie Piper mask, obvs. http://thehairpin.com/2013/02/who-is-that-masked-woman

  • abcooa

    w w w l u c k y g r i p c 0 m .

  • thousandwatts

    Guy on the right in slide four looks like Bret from Flight of the Conchords.

  • MR

    I like to kiss, so that makes it easy for the woman I’m in a relationship with to tell me what she wants from me. I like sex – no enticing required. :)

  • Fladabosco

    Hard to imagine some of you don’t get the sarcasm of the article. I am sorry for the author’s dismay but I can give you some pointers.

    1) Be NICE to us. Even if you had a rough day. I want to be the shoulder to cry on but please don’t take your daily frustrations out on me then expect me to massage your feet. Why would I want to make love to someone I’m cringing at?

    2) Tell us you are attracted to us. We are brought up taught that it’s not manly to think about how we look other than making sure our fly is up and our socks match, so we will almost never ask more than ‘do I look ok?’

    3) Don’t wait for us to make the first move. Come sit in our lap and tell us what you want to do. Grab the guy somewhere unexpected when you are in an elevator.

    4) Don’t be afraid to tell your man what you want. Most guys don’t have the slightest idea what you dream about. If you can share it it will be very exciting for them to hear and in many cases let you live it or help in the fantasy.

    5) What tells a man that his squeeze loves him more than making sure he’s getting whaet he needs? Letting your man run around unfulfilled will just keep his eyes open. Getting to know what he wants (you can try asking) and giving it to him will make him want to stay with you forever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/MatthewMcVeagh Matthew McVeagh

    Very funny, thankyou Jennifer. I particularly liked “be in the 2nd week of the relationship”, that’s probably the most effective yet at the same time most impractical advice.