• Mon, Mar 4 2013

Harlotry: Why I Was Always Terrified To Orgasm With Clients

sally

Cathryn Berarovich is something of a renaissance sex worker; she was until recently employed as a stripper but has held numerous interesting jobs in the industry (and she’s currently an excellent columnist on this very website). Each week, she shares her stories in Harlotry.

When I mention I’ve worked as a prostitute, one of the things people ask most frequently is whether I’ve ever had an accidental orgasm with a client. The answer is no.

This may be part of why I was not the best hooker ever, but it’s also what kept me a relatively sane hooker. While on one hand I’m grateful for the fact that I’ve never gotten off with a client, I’m also a little sad. Stories sex workers tell about accidental orgasms are often the most interesting and powerful stories about being a sex worker. It’s like the stories from any line of work: the terrible ones are always the best ones. There’s nothing interesting about a client who is nice, respectful, and easy to satisfy.

The two types of whores I encounter most frequently are the ones like me, who actively avoid orgasms in a professional context, and the ones who actually hope for an orgasm, who try to take genuine sexual enjoyment out of their work. I don’t understand the latter variety at all, though I have nothing but admiration for them.

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  • garys1216

    Very sad story, I respect her right to do wha she wants, but the sex industry strips people of ther souls and no amount of “feel good” stories and BS change that. This woman may be ok with being a whore, but I would imagine she knows deep down that is no way to live. Woud she incourage her daughter to be a hooker? I am not saying the sex industry is all evil, but I have yet to meet a girl who hooked or stripped that isnt pretty messed up in some significant way.

    • Ly

      I’m sorry you feel this way about this industry. At the same time, how many miserable office workers would consider telling their sons or daughters to waste their lives being miserable at a desk? (I’m not saying all office workers are miserable). Also, I don’t think I’ve ever met a human being, sex worker or not, that isn’t messed up in some significant way, which I think Cathryn’s stories show very well. And, I think she would prefer her daughter, if she ever has one, to do what makes her happy, weather that be a stripper or a computer programmer.

    • Cate

      You make three really good points, Ly! You go, Ly!

    • Cate

      Hello, my name is Cate, I wrote this piece, and I have a few things to say to you.

      1. You are obviously neither a sex worker, nor an ally of sex workers, therefore it’s really tasteless and offensive for you to be throwing the words “whore” and “hooker” around. “Prostitute” is fine, but calling a sex worker (in this case me) a whore or a hooker is pretty much the equivalent of calling an LGBT person a faggot or a queer.
      2. I’m actually quite proud of my past in the sex industry, both deep down and on the surface. Working in adult businesses has afforded me a number of really positive opportunities and put me in contact with some of the most interesting people I’ve ever met, and while I’m no longer a prostitute, as the work eventually became emotionally exhausting, I truly enjoyed it while it lasted. My one regret is that I wish I had known everything I know now, and handled my money better.
      3. I’m not going to deny that I’m somewhat messed up, but I would be hard pressed to trace any of my mental idiosyncrasies to my history of sex work. Honestly, the “normal” relationship I had, during which I mostly quit sex work entirely, was more damaging than any of the whoring, stripping, smut modeling, or domming I’ve done.
      4. It’s spelled “encourage,” not “incourage.”
      5. I don’t have a daughter, or any child for that matter, but in the event that I have one (and I do intend to have one or two children eventually) I wouldn’t encourage them to be anything. That said, if my daughter (or son!) were to pursue a career in the sex industry I’d give them as much encouragement as if they decided they wanted to pursue a career as a doctor. Frankly, I’d rather my child earn a living on their back or spinning around a pole than slave away in the fast food industry or attempt to pursue a political career.

    • Natasha

      First of all, this is a wonderful and insightful article, and I’ve loved reading everything you’ve written on here. But the main reason I’m commenting is how you replied to a person who is clearly uneducated about the sex industry and its positive effect on the lives of its workers and patrons. You give a very informative response without being accusatory, which is very difficult, and I applaud you.

    • Cate

      Thank you!
      I try not too be too confrontational, as that doesn’t really get one anywhere. One of the things I love about writing this column is the opportunity to educate. There’s a lot of ignorance about sex work in the world and not nearly enough people trying to correct that ignorance.

    • In the biz

      I am so glad u responded to the person bad mouthing u. U go girl… love that u mentioned the misspelling that was hilarious… as a fellow “sex worker” i want to comment that I as well like what i do. Yes there are times when its not so much fun… but i enjoy being whatever the client needs me to be.. friend, lover. etc.. I like giving a service to people. Its not all glamorous sure but when a client calls u over and over because u made them happy that makes me happy. I just want to say u rock and i love that u have no qualms about who u r!!

    • Cate

      Thank you for the kind words!
      I think a lot of people fail to realize that sex work, like any work, has its ups and downs and isn’t all sunshine and roses all the time. People seem to think that if we sex workers aren’t always happy with every aspect of our jobs it betrays some sort of dissatisfaction with the work as a whole. No-one says the same of people in the service industry, office workers, or any other job. It’s only sex workers who have to be either 100% happy or 100% miserable and that infuriates me.

    • grantmeone

      work is work.

    • js

      Completely agree with you. She’s certainly welcome to do what she wants. However, encouraging one’s children on down the path of sex work versus them being a doctor, as she argues below, reeks of retrospective self-justification.

    • Cate

      I’m not sure if you were simply blinded by anger or if you actually didn’t read my comment, but I said I would give my hypothetical child as much encouragement if they decided to enter the sex industry as I would give them if they decided to enter the medical profession.
      I would certainly rather have a sex worker for my child than a politician or a drug addict, but beyond that I think as long as this hypothetical future child is happy, there is no job that’s somehow better than another.

    • js

      Why would I be blinded by anger? After all, these are your choices.

      (Watch out, essay below:)

      I was however put off by the immaturity and shapelessness of your reply to what was, I admit, an ill put comment by ‘gary’. However, you chose to write an article on a subject which you must have known would be controversial and might invite personal attacks. The right response to that is hardly to nitpick grammar and spelling. In fact, I agree with your fundamental point that all human beings, irrespective of choices, deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, be it a guy who picks up trash on the sidewalk, a doctor, a sex worker, really any person who doesn’t make choices that willfully hurt others.

      Your replies to ‘gary’, and some other people on here, questioned why certain professions got more respect than others. Certain professions require long years of self-discipline and training of the mind. So, there is an inherent reason why someone like that is considered more valuable in society. They are assumed to have certain abilities that they have acquired through years of doing things that did not necessarily come as easily as, to put it crudely, having sex. It’s actually motivated by economics and a respect for the fortitude it takes to become that specialized.

      Society is complicated, because people while affording respect/admiration to these specialized professionals forget to afford human dignity to all.

      Finally, the question of choices and judgement. The tenuousness of the opportunities offered me by my birth are not lost on me. I realize that it is unfair to judge anyone, but even more so women of an underprivileged background forced into sex work. If you are a women who chose to go into this line of work of your own volition, more power to you, but you might not get an enlightened response from this world. While welcome to your choices, you might be setting yourself up for a fall if you plan to be treated equal by your peers who chose a path which involved much more, let’s say ‘karma yoga’. It might not be good for their souls, but they are going to judge. All the parents who went through the heartache of getting a recalcitrant teen to make serious, immediately ‘non-fun’ choices that necessitated hard work and self-discipline, but gave their children long term rewarding careers held in high esteem are going to judge. (A reference to your overly simplistic arguments like “I’d be OK if my future child chose to be a sex-worker”)

      I’d say having made those choices, why care what they think, don’t let them make you unhappy, go have fun with your life, say what you want! However, in saying what you want, if you care to get your point across, make a mature argument rather than nitpicking grammar and spelling or making generalized comparisons between politicians and drug addicts. The latter only compromises your integrity as an author.

    • http://www.facebook.com/naomi.kashinsky Naomi Kashinsky

      Hi. Both of my parents’ kids have worked in the adult industry in various roles, and we have always been 100% honest with them in that regard. Although my parents are somewhat conservative and would have never chosen employment in sex work themselves, their response was two-fold: “Are you being safe and careful?” and “Sweetie, if it makes you happy, go be the best damn sex worker you can be.”

      The only thing they would’ve found indisputably better about us pursuing careers in, say, medicine would’ve been that we would’ve gained social privilege that would be lost to us as sex workers. We live in a judgmental world, as you seem to be well aware.

  • Lala

    A sex worker is a prostitute and that’s all there is to it. An excellently written article but there’s nothing to be admired about prostitutes, it’s a job that most would do if there was absolutely nothing else. And your comparison of the word whore to the derogatory names LGBT folk are called honestly made me gag.

    • ruffintemp

      You are right and I agree with you. When there is no other recourse, you do what you gotta do. Whether one tries to BS about the name ‘sex worker,whore, prostitute, etc’, hey, it is what it is! It’s not even morally right so she should stop trying to justify it or paint it as something noble.

    • Jon

      Who’s morals? Yours? Mine? Why exactly should sex work be morally wrong If it is between two consenting adults? Is this one of those because the Bible tells me so arguments? If so I’m not too convinced we should be using the bible as our moral compass. Pretty sure she isn’t trying to paint prostitution as something noble, just writing about her life experiences.

    • Cate

      You’re cool, Jon. You know how to not only read, but also comprehend. Good for you!

    • Jon

      Thanks, Cate;) Very few things get me worked up as much as people pushing something as subjective as morality on to other people believing their world view is right one. I would say putting two consenting adults in jail because they had sex and offended my delicate sensibilities is immoral.

      I feel a massive rant coming on and know that typically discussions like this aren’t solved on the internet so will stop here;) I will just say this, why can’t we all just get along and stop judging each other? Life is difficult enough without everyone forcing their messed up beliefs on each other. Plus you know we all have a freaky side, no matter how conservative or religious you are. Stop repressing it and let your freak flag fly high, amirite?!?

    • Cate

      Oh, as you may have noticed, I’ve been in a super ranty mood for the past few days. There is no better way to piss me off than to suggest sex workers are somehow less valuable than other people or objects of pity.
      I fail to see what is morally wrong about sex work, and it really irks me that most of my detractors’ main complaint seems to boil down to “how dare you admit to having a good experience with sex work? The fact that you aren’t portraying your experiences as something to be ashamed of or something you regret shows that you are an amoral trollop!”
      It makes me very sad how people judge others for being happy with unusual life choices.

      And you’re right. Everyone has at least one quirk, and I think the world would be a better place if we stopped hating on the people who don’t try to hide their quirks.

    • Jon

      The peoples are weird and I’ll never understand them;) I think that’s why I’ve turned into somewhat of a recluse in my 30s, tired if dealing with their irrational, hypocritical B.S.:P

    • Cate

      Could you explain what is morally wrong about prostitution?
      Since I live in the United States, it is illegal, but I certainly hope you aren’t trying to say that anything that is legal is moral, and anything illegal is also amoral, particularly since the US is the only developed country in the world where prostitution is completely illegal.

    • Cate

      All prostitutes are sex workers, but not all sex workers are prostitutes. “Sex work” encompasses not only prostitutes, but strippers, phone sex operators, pro-dommes, pro-switches, pro-subs, camgirls, porn performers, fetish models, people who sell their underwear, sweaty socks, or other clothing items to fetishists on the internet, and pretty much anyone who produces a product or service designed to provide sexual gratification.
      There are SO MANY different kinds of sex workers in the world, the much-talked about trafficked victims, the almost-as-frequently-talked-about people driven into the industry out of need, and the barely-mentioned people like me and most of the women I’ve encountered in the industry who chose this work because it afforded us flexible hours, high earning potential, time in which to exercise our other skills and passions, and the potential for a great deal of fun. Just because some people are driven into the industry out of necessity or pushed into it by abuse doesn’t mean the job isn’t admirable (though there really is no work that’s intrinsically admirable, just as there is no work that’s intrinsically degrading).
      While I admit that the comparison of sex workers to LGBT people is not perfect, there are a number of similarities between the two groups. The first and most obvious similarity is that there is an overwhelming number of LGBT people employed in the sex industry, the second is that both sex workers and LGBT people are systematically marginalized in much of society. The main difference is that sex work is (generally) chosen while sexual orientation is not, but that doesn’t erase the many parallels between the two. In many parts of the world, and even this country, it’s no big deal when a sex worker or an LGBT person is killed. Dead hooker jokes, told by people other than actual hookers, are considered funny, just as dead faggot jokes, told by people other than actual faggots, are considered funny. It isn’t the jokes themselves that are the problem, it’s the way the jokes betray the social attitudes surrounding sex workers and LGBT people.
      I wish the comparison weren’t so apt, but the fact is that we live in a world where sex workers, LGBT people, poor people, and other disenfranchised groups are dehumanized in varying extents and attitudes like yours are part of this problem.

    • randomandunimportant

      I think you’re writing is insightful and wonderful, but I have to say that the comparison of the word faggot to the word whore is skewed. I won’t use the word faggot outside of an intellectual conversation, just like most pejorative words, but saying whore when talking about actually whoring is fine and being upset about it is silly. Being pissed off that someone calls you a whore, not because you’re actually a whore but because they are shallow and weak minded, that’s something to take offense to and if that’s your whole point then I withdraw mine.

    • randomandunimportant

      And the dead hooker jokes that Seth McFarlane tells are fucking funny. Peter telling the audience that killing strippers isn’t a laughing matter and that it’s actually pointless because they’re already dead inside made me cry the first time i saw it. Say what you want, but Seth nails men, women, black, white, jew and gentile alike and it is so awesome that he owns the first ever show to be uncancelled and then spawned into two spin-offs.

    • grantmeone

      yikes. i changed my mind. good luck on your next millitary industrial contract job. try not to rape and pillage any more than is necessary.

    • Lala

      The more you try to justify your former “profession” as something that’s to be respected and even, *gasp* protected, the more I realize there must be something inherently wrong with you. I saw you even said that you’d rather your daughter whore herself out than work at a fast food restaurant. Can I just say, parent of the year award? I hate how you piggyback on the LGBT movement and whine that as a person who sells their body in such a vile way, you want rights. You can’t choose to be poor or gay but you can choose to become a hooker. You’re not being exploited. No ones bashing you for something you were born with no control over. If you don’t think there’s something wrong with living life on you knees slurping up strangers – you’re beyond hope.
      You may think I’m stupid or cruel for saying this but I refuse to understand the motivations behind why anyone would subject their body, minds and soul to such treatment. A job like this requires you to emotionally numb yourself in a way that can’t be healthy at all. And if my views are what’s contributing to your problems then I apologize, but this is one thing I strongly disagree with.

    • grantmeone

      yes we can survive and maybe even thrive and not be ‘whores’ but you shouldn’t judge, we’re all on our own paths… and what is better, a Cate finding her way and not hurting anyone, or a ‘randomandunimportant’ goverment freak getting paid with our tax dollars to kill random people. More whores, less killers. Praise God

  • Mr. Anderson

    This is a great article,thanks for posting.I understand what you say about the fun sex vs. work sex…

  • bigman

    Interesting. I’d like to respond to a few issues. First, morality is a societal judgment that can be based on, related to, or devoid of religious influences. As a result, American society deems prostitution immoral. The why, is irrelevant, it is a societal judgment. You are free to change it, but until then, it remains; thus, it is immoral. Not saying I agree, but just reporting the facts. You might agree, too. How would you feel if someone suggested that a famous female politician or politician’s wife would make a first class prostitute? If it would offend you, then you have made a judgment. Second, it is judged bad because you give your body intimately to others for money, whom you admit that you would not ordinarily give the time of day. You become an object. Sure, you are human, etc., but your only value in that transaction is your willingness to let a stranger penetrate you, sweat on you and whatever else, for a fee. You become a masturbatory device. Again, that is your choice, but even you admitted your aversion to pleasure while doing it. Something inside of you, whether you liked it or not, tried to keep up some sort of boundary. Now you’ve rejected that impulse, but that does not negate the fact that it was there. Society has a similar impulse. Maybe it will change, but doubtful. Next, if you blithely let your child choose a career as a sex worker, simply because you would not tell your child to be anything, as you said, then you will have failed your child. A frank discussion of the reasons to be and not to be a sex worker would be best. Indeed, the same would be true of any profession, but especially so given the risks associated with that profession, both socially and personally. You provide guidance, which is not the same as mandating an outcome. Finally, being a prostitute is illegal in most areas. Doing it makes you a criminal. In fact setting up dates is a conspiracy under most laws, although not handled that way. However noble, worthwhile, or redeeming you find it, it is unlawful. Change the law, if you don’t like it. Until then, whether you find it immoral or not, you are a criminal. That is not a judgment, just a fact. Do it in Nevada and you are no longer a criminal. Consider this, how would life be if we all just ignored the laws we disagreed with? For a society to survive, it needs standards. They can evolve, change on a dime, or remain rigid, but an ordered society, even primitive ones has standards of acceptable conduct. It does not bother me that you are a sex worker. Btw, this post was not pro or con, but a response to the logical questions presented.

    • randomandunimportant

      Lawful and moral are not the same thing, ever. Morality, while defined by society en mass, is not synonymous with the lawfulness also defined by that society. Americans are stuck with entire generations of 40+’s who still think that Refer Maddness is a documentary film, the same people who harken back to ‘the good old days’…which by the way were chock full of Jim Crow, colored water fountains, date rape, actual rape and tons of other awful stuff that was completely amoral but absolutely legal.

    • grantmeone

      i have to say i do respect your grasp of the difference between moral and lawful. so who are you working for now? i

  • spirit1776

    LOL – A man that not only doesn’t mind the profession but wants her to be happy at work. What a joke. No one worth being with is going to like the fact that their loved one is getting log-jammed and corn-holed all night (oh but its ok she isn’t getting off!). Or fulfilling some repressed nut’s bizarre masochists fantasies. People- especially men aren’t wired this way I don’t care how open minded they profess to be. Yeah just the kind of girl everyone wants to come home to — one with vaginal irritation (or worse) and a distinct aversion to sex because she’s been shafted and used as a cum dumpster for the entirety of her shift. All i can say is if you do find that man he is either gay,impotent, or not human.

    • randomandunimportant

      Yup, I’m not gay, impotent or a member of the living dead and I don’t give a shit. I’m not threatened by other men, I’m comfortable with the size of my penis and I’m wholly uninterested in what a woman does for work, That’s not who she is, that’s not who I am and that’s not how I want to live. Folks is folks, pigeon holing them into your own little absurd preconceived ideas about people is going to cause you to miss a shit ton of awesome things in this life, just like racists and homophobes.

  • randomandunimportant

    I like to think that sex workers are a vital part of our collective human existence. Sex is the fundamental experience of all complex life forms, it is what allows us to continue on as a species both literally and figuratively, but we (especially Americans) demonize it and make those who profit off of it into social pariahs while actively enjoying the fruits of those pariah’s labors. We act as if sex workers aren’t real people, that they magically appear to make porn and dance on poles and give handjobs in rusted out Cadillacs and then like the Pegasus, magically fly off to some far off land, away from the real people. This is of course retarded and Chuck Palanuk said it best when he wrote “You are not your job, you’re not how much money
    you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the
    contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis.” Just replace khakis with ‘fishnets & garters’ and the difference between corporate whore and plain whore vanishes. So what if someone fucks for money? I debased myself for a decade as a contractor for the US military industrial complex and I assure you that the soul of the most low down, dirty transsexual hooker is far cleaner than mine. On a daily basis I degraded myself, i begged, i lied, i was forced to engage in office politics that ruined the lives of coworkers, in operations that ended the lives of both enemies and allies and was in my own opinion the antithesis of good, decent and humanizing work.

    While spending a decade taking the figurative shaft from Uncle Sam isn’t physically the same as just taking the literal shaft from some dude named Sam, the idea of whoring yourself out for money is absolutely the same. At least Cate and other men and women like her are honest about fucking other people for the love of money, unlike myself who did it under the guise of being a good and productive citizen. I don’t pretend to understand sex work, I’ve never given a stripper a single, had a lapdance, hired a call girl or nailed a streetwalker, so I don’t know the ins and outs. I do know that I watch pornography and enjoy doing so either alone or with a partner or sometimes at a party depending on how awful the film actually is (usually 70′s porn is a big hit because it’s so damn funny…and hairy) and by doing so give implied consent to the necessity of the sex worker in our world, just like everyone else does whenever they watch or discuss that one famous whore who is famous for nothing more than being a whore. And unlike say, Traci Lords (who I loved in Blade and Cry Baby and whos porn ive never seen), the famous whore I refer to does not actually have any talent and yet has her disgusting mug plastered all over the internet along with her cosmetically engineered body.

    Don’t get it twisted, I’m not picking on the famous whore for being a whore, like I said, I don’t think anything is wrong with being a whore. I’m picking on the famous whore because she gets a pass because she’s the daughter of a different kind of famous person, a famous person that our culture celebrates, so the fact that she plowed her own road by doing nothing more than getting plowed on tape and still gets headline news stories is a huge example of what gaping assholes we as a society actually are.

    There’s no shame in being a sex worker and our ideas about sex workers need to be adjusted. Yes there are junkie whores, but they’re whores because they’re junkies most of the time, they are not the people I’m talking about. Those whores need to be put into in-patient treatment to get off junk and after that they likely won’t be whores anymore. The whores I’m talking about are the ones like Jamie Lee Curtis in ‘Trading Places’. There aren’t questionable motivations for what she does, she’s not on dope, she’s not a hooker with a heart of gold, she’s a business woman who makes a shrewd investment of nothing more than time knowing that the potential for payoff was greater than the potential risk. Even before she gives Dan and Eddie all of her money, she’s already getting a solid ROI from just helping old Danny Boy get back into his house so he can be waited on by Marcus Brody (Denholm was the lynchpin of IJ movies, notice that the two he was absent from sucked?). She’s fierce and knows how the world works and instead of crying ‘victim’ she decides to be a viking. That’s the type of woman I want in the White House and in my bedroom, one that doesn’t take shit from society, that owns who she is, that makes her own way and who saves her wildest side for me and nobody else.

    Somebody said that any man worth his salt wouldn’t be okay with their woman being a stripper/whore/phone sex operator/dominatrix and to that tired old bitty i say bollocks! If I happened to meet a girl who was funny and smart and pretty and curvy like say the woman who writes the awesome Harlotry bits, I wouldn’t give two squirts of monkey milk if she turned out to be a hooker. A junkie? Deal breaker. A call girl or stripper? Out of sight out of mind, just like any other job a woman I’m with may have. I don’t give a damn what people do to earn money, so long as they earn it and don’t take mine or hurt people, don’t care. Oh, some guy will give you $300 bucks for a blowjob with a condom on? Go for it! Especially if I’m the dude that gets that particular service for free, without a condom and with oceans of enthusiasm not available for purchase by anyone.

    Finally, I ask anyone passing judgement to think about what sort of awful shit they’ve done for money or grades or friends or acceptance and then kindly shut your traps about sex workers.

    “I know what degradation feels like, I felt it on the floor

    at the factory, where I worked long before,

    I took control now I answer to me, the 50K I make this year will go anywhere I please
    Where’s the problem?” – Lori Meyers

    • randomandunimportant

      To be clear, I did not use the words ‘whore’ or ‘hooker’ in the
      pejorative sense when referring to sex workers. I did use ‘whore’ in a
      negative context towards that one famous whore and I do use the word
      ‘hooker’ negatively when talking about my ex-wife, as in ‘Oh look,
      hooker-face just listed my comic book collection on craigslist’, but
      don’t think of them as being negative when referring to someone whoring
      or hooking or prostituting or whatever unless I’m not talking about sex.
      For example, I may and likely have said: “Metallica is a bunch of
      thieving hookers, prostituting themselves for the almighty dollar while
      ripping off other bands. Whores.”

    • grantmeone

      and then the ex-wife and a beef with Metallica is used to defend the use of the word whore. who are you dude? would like to talk to you and figure out why I’m so intruiged…

    • grantmeone

      thanks for the insight. millitary industrial complex contractor. reads Palahniuk and digs NoFX. i don’t know what to say. Was about to talk shit but am somehow muted.

  • anna

    Cathryn, how do you deal with people who misunderstand sex work? I myself could never do it, but I could never hold down an office job either for that matter. I think nothing of those who do, other than you have different job tastes than myself.
    I find myself getting rather riled up when people say strippers are dumb or have low self esteem, prostitutes are all desperate drug addicts, etc. I’ve tried to explain that there are strippers in my doctorate program, that I’ve met prostitutes that are grounded and excellent citizens, etc, but it does nothing to sway opinions.
    It bothers me alot, I’m not sure why other than it always bothers me when groups of people are stereotyped and dismissed

  • fifi83

    There are different types in the world “Lala”. I think that just as whatever upbringing and/or experiences you had led you to feel that sex for money or “slurpink up strangers” is wrong, so have some people been raised or influenced to desire sex wih many partners, strangers, and even to be paid for doing something they enjoy. I’m going to assume that you’re more of a monogamist? You seem disgusted with the idea of many sex partners and sex with new people. That’s your deal, and it might be hard then for you to understand that there are those of us who are beyond the stigma of being considered a slut and in fact would like to sleep with as many people as possible. Maybe there is something wrong with Cate or wrong with me- I have daddy issues and maybe I’ve been insecure with myself. Did I choose that? Just like people don’t control their sexual orientations( LGBT) I didn’t choose to be this insanely sexual creature, lusting after men’s approval and acceptance but that is in fact how I am and why shouldn’t I capitalize on it? Sex is sold every time you turn on a TV or read a magazine and even marriage was once, and still is in some places, a transaction. I don’t subscribe to the idea of waliking the streets and servicing any man that comes along and being in danger or abusing one’s body. I like to pursue my attractions and sleep with who I want to, have fun, and bestow upon the men that I fuck that gift of entertainment and pleasure. Just as some women are naturally maternal and go into nursing or are business oriented and go into finance- I have a talent for exciting people sexually and I choose to let it help rather than hinder me. Every once in awhile I like to date a wealthy guy, go on paid dates, and in Vegas I’ve slept with men for large sums of money. And in doing these things I was just thinking… how awesome it was. And that I’m a natural. There I was dining with an attractive man, sleeping with him and getting paid fat to do it. I’ve slept with guys I really liked who didn’t buy me a beer or McDonald’s in the morning and they never called and treated me like a whore afterward. I’m beautiful, fun, intelligent and people are falling over themselves to fuck me man and woman and couples. I’m not going to go against nature, not because people are mistaken out there. It’s refreshing to read Cate’s articles and hear someone say anything empowering about being a sex worker. Better that there be sex workers and outlets for sexual urges to be satisfied than for people to be suppressed or confused and turn out to be psychokillers. There are exceptions and yes some aspects of prostitution are disgusting- but its pretty obvious that sexually deviant behavior and perversions don’t go away because they’re frowned upon or even illegal. Your boyfriend/husband would probably pay me a grand to have sex, gladlly.That’s good $ and doesn’t even feel like work. His wife/girlfriend probably doesn’t enjoy giving head as often as he’d like, or maybe out of love and respect for her as his significant other he doesn’t want to treat her like a sex object and behave a certain way in the bedroom that he really desires, or he probably just would like a little change- something different, someone new. Who knows maybe prostitutes are keeping him satisfied, or internet porn, or slutty chics he meets at bars on business trips. Everyone doesn’t have to pair emotion with sex, Lala, and are you telling me you’d rather work behind a fryer for eight hours at McDonald’s then get paid to have sex for an hour=- potentially with someone attractive might be feeding you champagne and dinner and might even get you off? Go ahead girl. To each her own.

  • John “Ratty” Arbuckle

    Lost soul.