• Wed, Mar 6 2013

Kate Middleton May Have Accidentally Revealed The Sex Of Her Baby…Let’s Name It!

Kate Middleton in Grimsby

It is currently a fact that we, the people, know precious little about the inner workings of Kate Middleton and/or her royal fetus. But that paradigm shifted just a little bit yesterday when a well-wisher offered Princess Katherine a stuffed teddy bear and she reportedly said “thank you, I will take that for my d…” Wait, oops, never mind. I command you to un-hear that at once!

When questioned by alphabet-savvy reporters on whether she and Will are having a “daughter,” Kate said she didn’t know yet, then quickly revised her position to “we’re not telling.” Aren’t ya?

In addition to the obvious fact that they are having a daughter/dinosaur/depressed person, this reveals that Kate is easily tricked by snuggly stuffed animals into letting her guard down and telling people her personal shit. Additionally, she is a terrible liar. I hope they never let her around nuclear launch codes, state secrets, or surprise parties. This makes me feel closer to her because I’m not allowed to know about those things, either.

But less importantly, what will Kate Middleton name her little state secret? Here are some appealing options:

Cersei: Implies a strong, maternal woman with an evolved political sensibility. May have a tendency towards bitchface and copulating with siblings.

Broomhilda: In exchange for moderately shiny hair, Kate Middleton once promised a magical dwarf the chance to name her firstborn.

Red Rhododendron: Red Rhododenron, Princess of Cambridge, will blow Blue Ivy Carter out of the sandbox with a single contemptuous glance.

Herpetia: A subtle call out to the House of Windsor’s reptilian illuminati roots.

Sybil: Will either run away to Dublin with an Irish socialist chauffeur or be able to see the future.

(Via Hello! Magazine)

Photo: WENN

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  • Eileen

    Her Royal Highness Princess Victoria of Cambridge.

    Because Queen Victoria, in her later, crazier years, requested that all of her female descendants have “Victoria” in their names. This request has been largely ignored. (Princess Eugenie is Eugenie Victoria Helena, but Queen Elizabeth, Princess Margaret, Princess Anne, Zara Phillips/Tindall, Savannah Phillips, Isla Phillips, Princess Beatrice, and Lady Louise Mountbatten-Windsor are all Victoria-less) But Kate and William seem like just the goody-goody couple to follow the rule (see Hilary Mantel’s essay).

    Of course, she could always have meant for her future, unconceived daughter, which is what I mean when I say “my daughter” all the time. Or her dog. She definitely has a dog.

  • Lisa(r)

    What the duchess did not finish saying:
    “thank you, I will take that for my darling fetus.”
    “thank you, I will take that for my dormant need to participate in nesting activities.”
    “thank you, I will take that for my due date person that is exiting my womb then… I mean on my due date.”

    • Lisa(r)

      OH AND OF COURSE “thank you, I will take that for my DUKE BABY”

  • MR

    Yeah, she’s going to have a girl and knock Charles right on his arse.

  • Amy

    I heard the clip and it just sounded to me like she stumbled over her words rather than stopped herself. It sounded like “Oh, is this for.., aww, that’s very sweet of you”, and when the other woman asks “were you going to say ‘our daughter’?” she looks puzzled then catches on and smiles and says “No no, we don’t know” so I don’t really know what the fuss is but it may have been different in person.