• Wed, Mar 6 2013

Fashion Disasters: All The Ugly Outfits Jessica Alba Wore This Week

Jessica-Alba-style

When somebody say Jessica Alba‘s name in my presence, my first thought is usually neither positive nor negative. Typically, it’s just, “oh yes, she exists.” I think she had a singing career at some point, but also has done a fair amount of acting. I recall her being in Sin City which gives her serious points; then again, she was also in Honey, a movie with such memorable lines as, “Look, yo. There’s people that good things happen to. And there’s people that good things don’t happen to. That’s just the way it goes.” Nevertheless, Alba is an overall unobtrusive star, both on and off the red carpet.

Sadly, this was not the case for the past week. Alba made a series of poor style decisions while in Paris the past several days for Fashion Week, all of which seemed a far cry from her usual, lovely-female-celebrity-dressed-by-timid-stylists look. Several ill-fitting or oversize garments along with a couple weird bottoms are making me wonder what issues (I daresay Albatrosses?) are going down in the style sect of her brain that are making her make such peculiar choices. Perhaps she wound up getting that large arm tattoo, but it magically spread across her entire body and now she regrets it, starface-style?

Whatever the case, I think we can collectively agree that these are odd outfits that need not be mimicked in any manner. Or perhaps you think they should, and that I am a bit delusional. Either way, here they are for you to judge.

Jessica-Alba-style

 

This oversized cobalt coat feels like something your hippie aunt comes back from Peru wearing, insisting you all listen to her new pan flute CDs right then and there despite only having toured around Lima once. Also, not that any shoe really could fit this look, but these particularly do not.

Jessica-Alba-style

Is she going to stuff the entire ATM in her coat? You know that thing’s got some bomb inner-pocket action.

Jessica-Alba-style

This outfit isn’t a full-flown fashion disaster, per se, but the idea of matching a sequin-lined jacket to sequin-embroidered pants and a similar purse makes irritates my eyes. Only Selena pulled off sequins anyway, for the record, so give up, All Other Famous People.

Jessica-Alba-style

Drop-crotch pants: they are never ever ever a good idea. Ever. And neither is that purse.

Jessica-Alba-style

As much as I love this color and typically dig this style, I am inclined to hate this because it fits her so poorly. Plus, I think matching singular bracelets on each wrist looks a bit odd with such an already-symmetrical look.

Jessica-Alba-style

Can halter tops please be over? Please? I blame Rihanna.

All photos: WENN.com

From Our Partners

Share This Post:
  • http://thegloss.com/ Ashley Cardiff

    Wow. I kind of went into this expecting the headline to be an exaggeration (we’re bloggers, after all) but… these are legitimately really bad?

    On a positive note, Nicole Richie’s dress is beautiful.

    • http://www.facebook.com/sameurysm Samantha Escobar

      Right?! After I saw the first three bad outfits, I was afraid I wouldn’t find more but alas, there were 5 (actually, 6 but it was unpublishable).

      And agreed — it looks so nice on her. Too bad all the media coverage this week has been about her weight. Ugh.

  • Sean

    In the case of the first outfit, I think we have to admit we don’t know Jessica Alba personally, and cannot rule out that she might actually be a 13th century samurai warrior.

  • Fabel

    but I LOVE Jessica Alba. So much I can’t even say “I love her, but yes, those outfits are—” Can’t say it!

  • Val20

    When I saw the first outfit… I was like okay this is a weird coat… And then it happened. I scrolled down. And saw the shoes!

    What the what the huh?!?!

  • CMJ

    Her colorist is great and that red lipstick in the last outfit is awesome….But DEAR GOD, please stop with the crop tops.