“Fresh” off the success of their “clean your dirty [euphemism for vagina]” campaign, Playtex has named Andrew WK as the new face of their “Fresh + Sexy Wipes.” (This is not a joke.) At first glance, this seems like a ridiculous move on their part, but I think it’s actually pretty great.
I will grant that in the grand pantheon of people you’d expect to land a vagina wipe endorsement deal, electro-metal headbanger/motivational partier/known Brony Andrew WK is probably not the first person who comes to mind. Best known for his posi attitude, upbeat music, and long, greasy, sweaty hair, he hardly seems a paragon of vaginal freshness. But think about who really needs crotch wipes. Is it people who shower every morning, go to work, maybe go to a bar and then come home again? Or is it people who get up at noon, get straight to partying (no time to shower) and then maybe have sex at the end of it? As Mr. WK himself says, “even when partying hard, I’m clean where it counts!”
Now I’m going to say something controversial, which is this: unlike my probably rather clean colleague Samantha, I totally understand the need for this product. In my early 20s, I was a dirty, gross, degenerate who showered like twice a week in between attending numerous after hours parties with scanty access to toilet paper and generous access to cute boys. Dry shampoo was my friend, as were “French showers.” I have since improved my personal hygiene, but there are still times when I am too busy/lazy to wash my genitals. This has never stopped me from hooking up with someone, but it’s a lot easier to enjoy oral sex when you can rid yourself of that “not so fresh” feeling. And assuming you do not own a bidet, this seems like a pretty easy way to simulate a shower if it seems like a visit from the sex fairy may be imminent.
I also appreciate that they are attempting to make these wipes unisex, because swamp crotch affects party men at least as much as party women, and probably more. I have passed on more than one comely bike kid in my time because he seemed like I’d need throw him in the shower first. I, for one, am rather glad that Mr. WK is bringing awareness of this senseless loss of sexytimes to the partying community at large.
Also, Andrew WK is married (to Cherie Lily) and has been for quite some time, and I think it’s nice that he’d want to stay fresh for his lady.
(Via press release)