Why Are These Men Pretending To Be Lesbians?


Robyn Exton has been pursuing a simple goal: to create a lesbian-only dating app with real women, for real women. She says that for lesbians, it’s even harder to meet potential partners. For those who have ever been on any dating website ever, you likely know that there are multitudes of fake profiles to sift through; for any of you who are gay, bisexual or anything other than straight, you have probably experienced numerous men trying to contact you despite explicitly stating a non-interest in males on your profile. Despite being exclusive in membership to gay women, Exton’s new app Dattch still seems be experiencing this same problem, because apparently websites devoted to lesbians and men refusing to take a “no, on every level” answer go hand in hand.

Exton says that regardless of the rules for membership, Dattch, which is currently in invite-only beta testing in London, has seen numerous men attempt to join. Many men masquerade as lesbians, going so far as to make fake Facebook pages in order to progress their false identities as gay women — just as they would on, say, OKCupid or other non-paid dating websites. Exton is presently reviewing profiles one-by-one herself in order to weed out any liars. Fortunately, these men seem to be rather stupid:

“Daily, we have about five guys registering for an invite and it’s unsubstantiated but the emails have a guy’s name on them. We’ve seen fake Facebook accounts set up to try and get invites. You’ll see they set up an account yesterday, have no friends but they like Dattch and something like ‘Lesbian and bi girlies of London’. It’s amazing. The fact that people will go to that extent to try and check out gay women or convert them or meet up with them.”

‘Lesbian and bi girlies of London’ made me both frown and giggle profusely simultaneously, as I can’t imagine anybody thinking that would be a realistic thing for any lesbian to say on a dating website, but it does make it clear how idiotic some of these e-actors are. And it is also extremely sad that people will actually take serious time and energy attempting to pursue or convert these women who are so, so clearly not interested.

So, why do these men want to mislead lesbians into believing they’re women? It seems ridiculous on a number of levels, the first being that these women will pretty easily be able to recognize the lie if the two ever meet. This actually creeps me out even more, though, because it makes me wonder if these men are trying to meet women in person and don’t care if they’re interested; they simply want to get lesbians alone for potentially violent reasons.

But beyond the sketchier reasons, there is a simple (but nevertheless sad as hell) reason many men try to pursue lesbians: they want what they blatantly can’t have. It’s not a matter of “maybe if I am more charming” or “maybe if I lose weight” or “maybe she’s not ready for a relationship right now”; she will never be interested, and that is that. And as pathetic as it is, this notion of inaccessibility is somehow appealing for those who “love the chase” — no matter how futile it may be.

Listen, men: if you are not a homosexual female, you should not be joining a dating app for lesbians. It is simply not fair for the women on that service who wish to actually meet somebody whose company they can romantically enjoy, and it’s a seriously douchebag move to ensnare them in fake profiles and false identities. If you wanna watch lesbian porn or go to strip shows involving multiple women or draw boob-on-boob cartoons, by all means, do that! But don’t play some wretched little game with women who are simply trying to navigate the frustrating dating world. Just don’t.

Photo/logo: Dattch’s Facebook

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    • Cee

      Men believe that lesbians just have not met THAT man and that they are THAT man. They have realized that we are not all a stereotypically “ugly butch woman,”* but that we come in many feminine forms that get their attention. They think that a pretty lesbian is one half away from the hot threesome of their lives. Or because some of us like butch or androgynous women and some of us use strap-ons we are just must try a man cuz that’s truly what we want! I have heard many many stupid thoughts men like that have. They simply refuse to understand that they are not wanted by a woman, yet bring up a gay guy and “oh yea he’s gay for sure, he doesn’t want to do anything with that woman but paint her nails” but lesbians can be turned by their magical penis.

      * there is no such thing as an ugly butch woman, they are all hot to me.

      • http://www.facebook.com/MatthewMcVeagh Matthew McVeagh

        Cee… *some* men believe that sort of thing. Some of us are completely untroubled by these delusions. :)

      • Cee

        True and thank dog for you guys! I did mean some, but reading this brought back a lot of ragey memories.

      • Psych Student

        The men who think that just because I like my drawers full of fake penises I *must* be interested in a penis attached to a man drive me nuts. It’s not the penis I have a problem with (though some non-straight woment do and that’s fine), it’s what’s attached to it!

    • Always Right

      speaking of lesbians, there seems to be enough of them nowadays. Gee Wiz, could be a very good reason why us straight guys can’t find a good woman today. what makes it worse, even the straight women have an attitude problem when you try to talk too them.

      • Psych Student

        Perhaps the problem you’re running into is your overwhelming sense of entitlement.

      • AlwaysRight

        it is very true what i have said, and there are many women that will curse at us men when we will try to start a conversation with the one that we would really like to meet. this has happened to me already, and i know other men that this has happened to. i never expected to get cursed at by trying to talk to a woman that i wanted to get too really know, and since there are many of these type of women out there now, that will certainly make it a problem for many of us men looking to meet a good woman now.

    • Bobby Goldstein

      Mein Schnitzel is mein german…mein sassuage sizzle
      vermin…mein kupel Sheizer kompin Fuhrer chicken for mein german.

      Now that I have your attention. Lesbian relationships are all about disease
      spreading whores who are vain in their thoughts and disgusting human
      beings. They are filth and there is no such thing as true ‘lesbian’ love so of course there’s no unconditional love here.

      A husband and wife having sex for pleasure and procreation within the sanctity of marriage is the only outlet for sex. Don’t be a smelly silly dirty fanny granny lesbo. Be a straight instead and you’ll get a nice man eventually.
      God bless,

      Bob Thang