• Thu, Mar 7 2013

Snooki Now In Possession Of Coveted “Post-Baby Bod” (Here’s How She Did It!)

Snooki weight loss diet fitness

Would you look at that: a venal, self-obsessed fameball is on the cover of a magazine. We were wondering why we hadn’t seen Snooki around these parts–she must have been in hiding, diligently hitting the treadmill and eating small handfuls of nuts and celery this whole time (er, “running after her toddler,” we bet). We guess she couldn’t get a diet pill endorsement deal this go-round.

Us Weekly hasn’t put Snooki’s diet plan online, but, without having seen the issue, we can confidently tell you it looks like this:

  • breakfast: oatmeal, egg white omelets and fresh fruit
  • lunch: salad with grilled chicken
  • dinner: salmon with steamed vegetables (especially broccoli).

We are confident because this is the diet attributed to every single famous person ever when they lose a bunch of weight and need a magazine cover to validate their existence.

Here are some quotes:

“When you have a baby, everything changes,” the 4-foot-9 star says in the new issue of Us Weekly. Part of Snooki’s transformation? She’s shed an astounding 42 pounds since giving birth, weighing in at a 102 pounds and revealing the sexy results for Us in body-revealing bikinis.

“I lost it for me,” she tells Us, “but I also wanted Jionni to know that I can be hot as a mom.”

Sorry.

(Us Weekly)

  • Portender

    This is kind of a mean article…I love the Gloss articles usually, and I just don’t get the tone here. She had a baby, she lost the weight, she’s very young and at her age that is really easy to do…why so much hate?

    • Fabel

      The hate/snark is for the media machines that produce article after article about HOW SHE LOST THE BABY WEIGHT & how the formula is always the same— before/after pic, standard “diet” advice, stars vaguely referring to some exercise but largely attributing their weight loss to chasing their children around. It’s not directed at Snooki, per se.

    • Portender

      I disagree. It’s clearly targeted towards Snooki. She is the entire subject of the article. If the author’s intention was to make a commentary on magazines and the formula of the gossip rag, then she failed. I actually think the magazines that run these articles are ridiculous and that a good article satirizing them generally would be great, but this article is not it. The author almost sounds jealous of Snooki. All around, not a good effort.