How To Deal When Your Friend Is About To Get Laid And You’re Not

third-wheelIt has probably happened to each and every one of us at some point. You’re out with a friend, having a great time and a man across the room has set his sights on your table. He is but one, and there are two of you. He, unless he actually thinks he’s going to score a threesome, has decided that one of you is the person he wants to flirt with over the next few hours. With each drink, he is brought closer and closer to summoning the courage to ask to go home with the object of his desire.

Although he is very civil to you, it becomes clear that his interest is in your friend. Of course you’re stoked for her, because frankly he’s not your type anyway. But still, in that realization, a subtle pain is inflicted on the evening. It’s not rejection, because you’re not being rejected; it’s something else…

Oh! It’s the fact that your friend is obviously going to have a proper romp before the night is out and you are not!

You, on the other hard, are going to go home alone, consider diving into your drawer of vibrators, but then instead opt for chocolate and Late Night with Jimmy Fallon in bed. It’s cool. You’ve been on the receiving (pun!) end of such fun before; all’s fair in love and war.

But before everyone parts ways for the evening, there is that moment at the bar, or wherever you are, that your friend has begged you not to leave “just yet.” You’re definitely not the wing-woman; you’re more of a third wheel at that point, so exactly how do you deal in that situation? How do you not stab yourself in the eye with the dullest spoon in the joint as you’re stuck watching your friend “ooh” and “ahh” over someone she is not likely to see again?

As someone who was in this position just the other night, and was forced to roll my eyes every time the French dude told my friend he wanted to fuck her in his broken English, I’m here to help. You may not be able to whip out your computer and do some work while their love connection is taking place, but there are things you can do with that time so it’s not completely wasted.

Share This Post:
    • Tania

      Oh my god. I’d forgotten that Pretty Pretty Princess “game.” How could I forget that?! My friends and I were the most badass princesses to wear a crown ever while still looking fabulous.