• Wed, Mar 20 - 1:01 pm ET

Stephenie Meyer-Inspired Wed Bed Dead: Can We Trick Edward Cullen Into Premarital Sex?

Hello there, Gloss fans! Welcome to this week’s episode of our our web series Wed Bed Dead, in which editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff must decide the potentially very sexy fate of three chosen gentlemen (and occasionally ladies). The show is a live action spin-off of their longrunning and delightful games of Fuck Marry Kill here on The Gloss.

This week, they’re playing a Stephenie Meyer-inspired game of Wed Bed Dead, in honor of Friday’s opening of The Host (Jennifer, apparently has even read the book!). They’re utilizing some Stephenie Meyer heavyweights for today’s game–both Edward Cullen and Jacob Black of Twilight–along with The Host‘s girl alien Wanda. Ahead, they assess the benefits of being a vampire versus being a werewolf–though both agree to kill the human-inhabiting alien pretty quickly.

Tune in every Wednesday at 1:00 for new episodes of Wed Bed Dead… and don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Seriously. Don’t forget.

Also! How silly is all Twilight-related press imagery?

Stephenie Meyer Wed Bed DeadThe answer is “very.”

 

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  • http://twitter.com/keanesian Meghan Keane

    So if you trick a vampire into having sex with you because he thinks you’re his wife, you’re basically guaranteeing yourself death by vampire mauling when he finds out, right?

    • http://thegloss.com/ Ashley Cardiff

      Not if he’s into it.

    • http://twitter.com/keanesian Meghan Keane

      So if he ended up liking non-marital sex with you, would he then have to kill himself?

    • http://thegloss.com/ Ashley Cardiff

      That makes more sense.

    • http://thegloss.com/ Ashley Cardiff

      (He’s the one who sinned, duh)

    • Sean

      Hey, does anyone remember that Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episode where he gets Jazz to pretend he’s a minister and tricks this girl into thinking they’re married so he can have sex with her, then confesses at the last minute and the girl knocks him out, then Uncle Phil calls him a dumbass?

      Yeah, that’s not going to happen here. Edward will kill you. Or himself.

    • http://twitter.com/JenAshleyWright Jennifer Wright

      Isn’t Edward really into not killing people? Also, maybe I just wouldn’t tell him I was not licensed. And I think this all kind of works in Shakespeare.

    • Sean

      Of course, it would just be a pleasant misunderstanding in Shakespeare, and you’d have some sort of quippy final couplet that makes everyone chuckle. (I envy you that opportunity.)

      But in the Twilight universe, Edward is too broody to get over it. (I hate that I know this but…) Edward nearly killed himself when he thought Bella was dead. How do you think he’ll feel knowing he was betrayed by the very woman he loved enough to marry.

      He’d probably fly into the rage he’s suppressed for years, kill Ashley, then himself, and then Uncle Phil would appear from nowhere and call you a dumbass.

  • Maggie

    You two have to be the hottest editorial team in ladyblogging.

    • Maggie

      (NO THAT THAT’S WHAT MATTERS — JUST SAYIN’)

  • Kelly Williams

    Hmm. I guess you can’t trick Edward Cullens into having premarital sex. His so into sex after marriage. Remember his one of the oldies who follow traditions not to touch women unless your fully wed. http://thebeautyreviewer.com

  • Alyssa

    You guys forgot Edward can read minds. You can’t trick him into premarital sex!