Axe Body Spray Is Destroying Lives, Not Helping Men Get Laid

aveIf there’s any truth to be learned from Axe Body Spray commercials, it’s that with one sniff of the stuff, the ladies will go wild with desire! They chomp at limbs of Axe-wearing dudes, fight each other off like tigers, and throw themselves in front of busses if that’s what it takes to find themselves in the arms of an Axe-wearing man. But now, marketing techniques aside, Axe is having the very opposite effect.

Freedom High School in Bethlehem says one of its students was recently hospitalized for exposure to Axe Body Spray. Now, officials are asking students to stop using it as a cologne or fragrance while attending the school.

If this were five years ago, I’d exclaim, “Oh snap!” Then high-five the closest person, but it’s not, so I won’t do such a thing.

However, how awesome is this? Not that a kid is sick, but that a company that prides itself on such overt sexuality has created something that actually put someone in the hospital? It’s so, oh what’s the word, FITTING. Yes, that’s it.

Let’s see if this news will have any effect on how Axe markets their upcoming lines of body spray: “Axe. It won’t kill you, but it could possibly put you in the hospital… which may lead to life support… but we can’t really say for sure.”

It’s totally going to fly off the shelves.

Via HuffingtonPost

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    • Jessie

      I’ve long held the belief that Axe is made from nightmares and crushed spiders. It smells like a migraine.

      • inessence

        Yeah, my kids put it on just before they leave. I’ve been trying to get them to spray it on just after they leave.

    • Maggie

      I have a severe allergy to scented products, and in high school I had to be rushed to the hospital three times because some guys were wearing too much Axe and I had bad reactions. One time I had to give myself my epi-pen to avoid going into anaphylactic shock and dying because some jerk in homeroom thought it would be funny to “test” my allergy, sprayed Axe in my face, and my eyes swelled shut within a minute. So yeah, Axe is pretty much my mortal enemy and doesn’t even smell good!

      • Ivan Libya

        But that would have happened with any, or a specific subset, of sprays, not just Axe, this is pointless post.

      • Tom22ndState

        Yeah, that would be assault. Was he prosecuted, expelled, beaten senseless?
        Just what kind of school did you attend? If any young men were there they should’ve put this bully is his place. Or perhaps they had all previously had the last of their masculinity purged by societal coercion? Or cowed by the bully? Shower gels don’t assault people…people do. I hope that helps put this all in perspective.

    • Olga Nilsen

      I’m so sick of such trivial and shallow reporting. It’s all part of the results of dumbing down our population. I long for the days when cogent articles were written by folks who actually knew how to write the English language.

      • eekahil

        I agree with you in the sense that more hard-hitting and serious follow up to this fairly lightweight and jokily written piece. The negative health impact from the accumulated exposure to the many, many artificially scented products we use is finally getting through to people. We are starting to make the connections and need to know more.

      • comatus

        “I long for the days when cogent articles were written by folks who actually knew how to write the English language.”
        “I agree with you in the sense that more hard-hitting and serious follow up to this fairly lightweight and jokily written piece.”
        That, my young friend, is a sentence fragment; this, right here, is my cogent, English language-writing metal edged ruler. The two of you are about to meet.

      • David_Rogers

        You really don’t know what a sentence fragment is, do you?

      • inessence

        It seems that the top quote is good and the second quote has a fragment.

      • Ricky Michael

        Inessence David
        Rogers makes me comatus and want
        to eekahil all over Olga Nilsen when I read this trival and
        shallow reporting.

        How’s that?

    • Olga Nilsen

      Just another scheme by greedy doctors to profit from the population’s obsession with sex.
      Remember the penis enlargement operations of a few years ago? How many males fell for that scheme and are permanantly disfigured as a result. Tinkering with the human body to fulfill momentary and fleeting obsessions is usually a disaster in the making.

      • Mark Tele

        Then why are you here?

    • eekahil

      Good. That stuff makes me ill as well. Cheap fragramnced products are full of various chemicals which -maybe individually are “safe” but the combination and the cumulative effect can be really problematic. Perhaps this young person’s illness will help raise awareness.

      • gfm2011

        Good? What is good about this? What combinations of chemicals are being used that are “problematic?” Do you have any idea what you’re talking about?

    • Charles

      “However, how awesome is this? Not that a kid is sick, but that a company that prides itself on such overt sexuality has created something that actually put someone in the hospital? It’s so, oh what’s the word, FITTING. Yes, that’s it.”

      Wow this writer has a serious problem with sexuality.

      • Bigfoot Steve

        Wow this writer has a serious problem with sexuality.

        It’s more like she has a problem with reality. There’s a not a product on the planet that hasn’t put someone in the hospital.

      • james chadden


      • parthenogene

        I think your Caps Lock key is stuck…

    • Ironhide 13

      The man-hating shrew who wrote the above article is just following the template of Huffpo “journalism”, which states that anything with a penis is evil, and any product that promotes male dominance must be destroyed.

      • blueturtles

        Artificial, chemical fragrances are often unhealthy and are definitely unattractive.

      • gfm2011

        Please specify. You seem to know a lot about “artificial, chemical” fragrances. I suspect you actually know nothing about them and this is another gratuitous comment by an ignorant feminist.

      • VictorErimita

        That’s why so many people like to wear them. Of course, they don’t have your deep insight and wisdom.

      • JBnID

        I agree. I will not walk within 50 feet of a cosmetics area in a department store and promptly leave women that smell like much more like a goat’s crotch than flowers.

    • Stan Mason

      I know someone who was in the hospital because of a peanut allergy. Is the Planters company evil too?

      • Chuck Hermann

        Is anyone forced to eat peanuts in school? The fact that food products with peanuts are labelled with a warning shows that people should not be forced to have allergic reactions to unnecessary allergens.

    • Derek Wilson

      Did you hear about the six year old boy in Passaic that stubbed his toe???

      • Saving our Country

        Yes I did and they are now trying to outlaw curbs!!!!

    • Ellis

      Where can I nominate this for the most juvenile article of the decade?

    • Ben R

      This is absolutely pointless. Many schools in the US have rules against wearing cologne and perfume due to students with allergies or sensitivity issues. So one kid in one school had a problem, what about the hundreds of other kids with the same problem with hundreds of other brands. Are we going to get a pointless article for every one? So why the hate against Axe brand?

    • Scott Givens

      It would be a shame if anyone in the liberal press actually took the time to cite sources, and write a complete article. Just because this is a website does not mean that you a free ride.

      We are not texting each other.

    • Cheryl

      I hate cologne on men or smelly aftershave. Daresay I’m not the only one.

      • Allan Hamilton

        Or, perhaps, you just hate the men that wear them?

    • cjsteak

      this is a really dumb article

    • Megan Leigh Russell Dame

      It’s not one kid. I have had to send students out of my classroom because their Axe scented bodies were inducing migraines and vomiting with multiple other students. It gives me horrible headaches as well. Lower priced scented products are usually mixed way too strongly and gives more people problems than not. I’ve banned it in my room for years now.

    • Hetem Hassan

      If its not as you say olga it is also pretty plausible to have been an acute allergic reaction I personally know several people who have been sent into anaphylactic shock from exposure to aerosolized particles to which they were particularly susceptible, and doctors are telling us allergies are on the rise in our society as a whole.

      Although i am not a fan of the spin media puts on everything this would make a great marketing point for someone to make money with hypoallergenic body sprays.

    • Ranger

      Personally, I was disappointed. It didn’t work with my wife.

      • VictorErimita

        And your tastes and preferences should be privileged over those of others. Because you’re right and they are all wrong.

    • Mike Adams

      This is called journalism? Someone just wants to see their name on an iPad screen.

    • Allan Hamilton

      So where is an “article”? This author barely compiles the few necessary words to convey the idea that the spray is dangerous, but doesn’t even broach the rest of the questions like the reason for the reaction or a response from Axe. So what was the point of this? Here’s a little tip Amanda: Lifting puff pieces from Huffington Post is NOT the way to make people think you’re a real journalist.

    • Emmanuel Cabahug

      AXE Body Spray serves better as a insect repellent.

    • kenroyall

      More click bait from HuffPo. Useless garbage.

      • Mark Tele

        and you clicked on it, trashman

      • kenroyall

        Does your keyboard get grimy because of your sh*t stained fingers?

    • VictorErimita

      I agree with the author. And wouldn’t it be fitting if, say, Victoria’s Secret lingerie starting putting people in the hospital? That would be so awesome! It would be so fitting, because, you know, they’re a company that prides itself on overt sexuality, and that must be condemned and punished! Oh no, wait. It’s only men’s sexuality that must be condemned and punished. I forgot.

    • dralfredbellows

      Note to high school boys: Axe is not a substitute for regular showering. That is all.

    • Zimriel

      And I thought the mid 1990s Onion article “Bear Attacks, Rapes Zookeeper” was over the top at the time. As usual, it was just ahead of its time.

    • LocomotiveBreath

      This kind of thing has been around forever. Someone clearly just fell off the turnip truck.

    • saywhatsaywhat

      What a shocking development that everyone everywhere can’t agree on what something smells like. We need a government program to address this matter. NOW.

    • Chance Boudreaux

      Man, anything to distract from the Obama Economy eh?

    • Rich Vail

      OH MY G-D!!!! ummm…who cares?

    • Whelk

      That’s it, I’m going back to my Hai Karate!

    • Alarms & Discursions

      That has got to be the most pointless article I’ve read so far this year. Ms Chatel seems to be motivated by anger at a company advertising to men (in a tongue and cheek way that clearly sails right over her head) that, horror of horrors, chicks dig guys that smell good. She is, so far as I can tell, exactly what sites like HuffPo and The Frisky are looking for in a writer: snarky, politically correct, hypersensitive, and leadenly humorless.

    • Joshua

      Jokes on you Amanda. If you kept looking into this, the poor guy who ended up in the hospital after showering in Axe Body Spray ended up being tended to by 6 super hot nurses! Sure to be their next advert campaign…

      • Mark Tele

        you are hopelessly brainwashed

    • Luke Solo

      FYI it’s called an allergy. Every human has them. Obviously Amanda has an Ax to grind. She was dumped by a boy that wore it and needs closure. “If it were five years ago…” you’d be in middle school. Snap? Really? Ah, the bitterness of the dumped.

    • Peter Tripoli

      I have always supposed that the scent of Axe would be a turn off, it seems to have replaced the shower for too many.

    • Aaron1960

      Children fall off bikes! Schwinn, Huffy, Fuji, Bianci, to be banned!

      • Ray Ember

        No one gets out of life alive. Life to be banned. :)

    • Howard Roark

      I guess the writer being immersed in pop culture and being superficial are related after all

    • Tom22ndState

      Great…nothing Ms Chatel; no facts, heavy on accusation and sarcasm. It served no purpose other than to draw out your fellow shallow-thinking first-responders to share their own vapid opinions. While most commentors rightly castigated your screed, a precious few entertained us with an awesome display of ass-hattery.

    • DA Munroe

      Men with body odour don’t get laid. Just because educated, wealthy people already knew that doesn’t make it untrue. And yes, there are young men who don’t realize this. If a deodorant brand encourages young men to freshen up then it’s doing them a favor and will in fact increase their chances with the opposite sex.

    • Commander Bill

      I bathe in it……gets me laid everyday…..

    • CJH,Fl

      I actually gag on the scent of musk but I’m not trying to bad mouth anybody because of it. Get real, life is dangerous and nobody gets out alive!

    • Michael Fitzpatrick

      So I checked out this bitter angry feminist’s twitter profile. What a flake. Can we get a REAL reportere in here please?

    • slamradio

      amanda chattell = moron

    • Skitzo

      Thank you Amanda for your liberal lesbian point of view on completely meaningless news. Can’t wait to see you on NBC!

    • Skitzo

      Oh, and let me take this time and space to say, “Fuck a Muslim”

    • Thomas Ritter

      Awful. Just awful. From the gibberish title to the inconsequential nature of the topic.

    • Saving our Country

      So 1 kid is allergic or used to much and the rest of the school can’t enjoy it and now it should be banned. Typical for this country now. Its all about that 1 person. Tell us, how is it that he/she became sick anyway. Lets get all the facts before we step on any more rights in this country.

    • Me No Smell

      What’s that stuff made from, ragweed pollen and peanuts? These kids should switch to Hai Karate. It didn’t work (I know, I tried it), but it didn’t put anyone in the hospital.

    • Andrew Pearson

      Kids in high school use way too much of this stuff. More than reasonable amount. Like, a full minute of spraying kinds of extreme. Also, this report seems like it was written by a high school kid. Really amateur writing.

    • Mark Tele

      I can’t believe all the morons defending the stink juice known as Body Axe. That sht is toxic – a lame product marketed by a multinational corporation (Unilever) to lame, adolescent males that drives away anyone worth screwing. Obnoxious commercials, toxic product, false advertizing. Unilever sucks.

    • borisbadnoff

      careful with that axe, eugene

    • Chuck Hermann

      It’s not just one person that has gotten sick from this spray ever. It’s one kid at a school. The problem is when people cannot move away from it, why should they be subjected to it?
      I was on a bus behind someone wearing Lynx (Axe in the UK) on Saturday. It’s Tuesday and I’m still bedridden from the proceeding reaction to this stuff. I don’t know if it’s the propellant or the fragrance that makes me this sick.