• Thu, Mar 21 2013

Joe Jonas Sex Tape: Talking, Tongues & So Many Toys

Joe-Jonas-sex-tape

In a society where any hint that celebrities have utilized their genitalia is blown up to the nth degree, it’s sort of surprising that some still opt to make sex tapes. Granted, I think people should people able to do whatever they want to with their bodies, but I’m not so sure I would be willing to make a tape should I be aware of the fact that millions of people would pay money to see it, distribute it and put it up all over the Internet. Yet still, famous folks set up their cameras, bang their partners and seemingly just hope for the best. As for this next big celebrity video scandal: the (alleged) Joe Jonas sex tape.

Despite Joe’s clean-cut appearance, wholesome reputation and Evangelical Christian upbringing, Blind Gossip reports that the middle Jonas brother and his Swiss model girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler made a sex tape together that is to be released on April 3. It was supposedly filmed earlier this month in Park Tower, a Buenos Aries hotel while Blanda traveled with the Jonas Brothers on tour in South America.

According Blind Gossip’s story:

The video features explicit footage of Joe Jonas, 23, and his girlfriend, Blanda Eggenschwiler, 28, drinking, doing drugs, and engaging in sex using a number of sex toys and BDSM devices, including dildos, a gag ball, and a slapper paddle.

Oh, um. Okay! That most certainly can be categorized as “explicit,” yes. But as long as everything was consensual, who cares? Well, it appears to be a little odd to some because in the past, the Jonas brothers vowed to be virgins until their married, wore purity rings and insisted they want to be a “positive influence” by not doing drugs or engaging in sexual relations. Again, it is obviously their choice to do as they please, regardless of what was stated when they were teenagers; it nevertheless raises questions about how their fans may react if (if!) the Joe Jonas sex tape is real and will actually be seen.

Blind Gossip does give a pretty detailed play-by-play, so their account seems a little more convincing than most gossip sites (or else they just have good/weird imaginations):

At the beginning of the video, Joe and Blanda are sitting on the bed together. They are both drinking and smoking pot, and Blanda explains to Joe what she is going to do to him in detail.

They proceed to engage in multiple sex acts utilizing a variety of sex toys, including a large dildo, a gag ball, and a slapper paddle. Joe participates willingly, but seems less sure of how to use the sex toys, as well as how they will be used on him. He does not enjoy being paddled. At one point he has had enough and cries “Owww! Don’t do that anymore!” Blanda is the more dominant one in the video. At one point she inserts the dildo inside of herself, orders Joe to “lick my p**** juice off of it,” and he complies.

Right-o!

The video was also allegedly filmed by a separate videographer who was friends with the couple, which makes this even stranger as it seems like they planned for it to be released somehow, particularly because Blind Gossip also reports that there are tons of close-up shots of everybody’s business.

Oh, and apparently Eggenschwiler stated that Joe is just a “stepping stone” for her career, that she has “no intention of staying with him” after the tape drops and that she’ll “deny her involvement in the distribution of the tape, and will express embarrassment.” This accusation against Eggenschwiler’s character seems a bit fishy to me, as it’s generally common knowledge that the media and everybody else treats you horribly if you’re an unknown (or well-known, too, actually) and have a sex tape released. Plus, this kind of just seems like a trap for her — if a sex tape is released and she really didn’t have any involvement in its distribution, she’ll still look guilty; if she did and admits it, she’ll still look terrible. It’s just setting up a lose-lose situation for her.

Then again, this is all alleged. For all we know, there could be a video tape of the pair eating Argentinian food while watching High Fidelity in a hotel room and that’s it. In any case, hopefully their fans will recognize that (A) people grow older (B) sometimes they change their minds about sex. It’s not that big of a deal, but the reactions to it — should the video exist — will likely be fascinating for us all.

[UPDATE] According to Jezebel, Jonas’ representatives said this:

We represent Joe Jonas and would like to provide the following statement in response to the below false story: “There is no truth or validity to this story. It is completely false.” – Joe Jonas’ representative

Photo: Owen Beiny/KS/WENN.com

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  • Alexis H

    At first I read the title as “talking in tongues” and I’m super bummed that it wasn’t accurate. :(

    • http://www.facebook.com/sameurysm Samantha Escobar

      Oh my god I wish that was the case. Best. Sex tape. Ever.

  • Down south

    PTM for little joey. U know he tried on all the toys. She prolly strapped him good lil beeach.