This Hermès T-Shirt Costs $91,500


What’s the most you could envision someone charging for a t-shirt? $50? $100? $1,000 for a really, really nice one made by a pointlessly expensive luxury brand? Take that last number and multiply it by about ninety, and you will arrive at the answer to that question.

Today on The Awl, Choire Sicha claims to have found the most expensive t-shirt in all of New York City, and I dare say I believe him. It’s just like a regular black t-shirt, only it’s made of 100% pure crocodile. That’s right: for a mere $91,500, you, too, can wear leathery strips of flesh that have been hand ripped from a toothy swamp creature and lovingly sewn into a t-shirt. I can’t get a photo of it from any of the image services we use, but here is a picture of it on the runway. Nature’s bravest carnivore is no match for your money!

At this price, I can only assume this is not just any t-shirt, but a magical t-shirt which confers upon you the following benefits and powers:

-Swim faster than nature’s perfect predator

-Fellatio or cunnilingus on demand

-Scare small swamp mammals even more than you normally would

-Win every game of Crocodile Dentist

-Get real sinewy

-Survive on a slimming diet of muskrats and waterfowl

-Dude reptiles want to be you; lady reptiles want to be with you

-You can fly! No really, try it.

-Can be repurposed to make ten pairs of $9,000 crocodile boots or ninety $1,000 crocodile purses.

If any of this appeals to you (and it should) and you’ve got some money to burn, it’s available at the Hermès men’s store on Madison Avenue. Hooray for fashion.

(Via The Awl)

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    • JennyWren

      How did they even decide on that price? 91,500 is such a precise number. Why not round it up to 92,000 or even 95,000 (after all, people who will pay $91,500 for a t-shirt that honestly looks kind of fake can’t reasonably complain that the price is arbitrarily inflated, and what’s another 3.5 grand when you’re paying almost 10 grant sales tax?) or settle on 90,000? No way did the parts and manufacture add up to that number, so who gets to call these things?

    • ZanBrody

      Fastforward to Kanye wearing it.

    • Sean

      I shared this article with my partner, and this was her response (she’s far more the subject matter expert on haute couture houses than I am).

      This thing (like their bags) is probably made by hand, and it would have taken some well paid artisan a lot of care and work to make the alligator scales line up that perfectly. It’s actually pretty impressive – look at the uniformity in the scales and how balanced they are on each side. Houses as haute as Hermes are also very picky about quality control
      in their leather. I’m going to assume that this is all leather from the same animal and that Hermes would have had to pay an arm and leg to get their hands on large enough pieces of alligator with almost perfect scale patterns for the look they had in mind. If the mark up is 50 to 60 per cent – this shirt could have actually cost $35 to $40 K to actually make (which is also ridiculous).