• Tue, Mar 26 2013

Kardashians Finally Discover Purpose, Release Fake Tanner Line

Kardashian tanner

Hey! Bonus Photoshop disaster.

Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian (otherwise known as the Kardashian sisters) (also Cerberus) are jettisoning yet another callous money-making venture into the ether for foolish people to buy. They’ve already covered books, fragrances, beauty, knock-off handbags and slave-labor clothing (not to mention all the shitty products they simply endorse), so why not?

Well, here’s why, more specifically (per WWD):

“I think tanning has really been a way of life for all of us, living in California,” Kim said. “Especially, more recently, the need for sunless tan. When I travel, the one thing that makes me feel alive whether or not I have makeup on is a tan, especially in my face. When you travel, you can’t just go lay out. I do like regular tanning because I have psoriasis, and the tanning beds are particularly good for that. Every time I put sunless tan before, it wouldn’t be even — so we wanted a system that was really easy but yet is a full system.”

Sidenote: isn’t it pretty irresponsible for Kardashian to suggest tanning bads are good for anything besides cancer?

The products are priced between $12.99 and $19.99. Step one is using either Body Exfoliator or Color Maximizer, $12.99 each; the second step is choosing either Instant Sunless Lotion or Instant Sunless Spray, $19.99 each, and the final step is applying Tan Extender with Bronzers. The bronzer is not activated by the sun or ultraviolet rays, but will continue to make the skin darker after the sunless tanner is applied, noted Kim.

“[We] came up with something that is still good for your skin and healthy for you; everything is paraben- and sulfate-free,” Kourtney said. “We love beauty and fashion, but making sure we’re taking care of our bodies is crucial to us.”

Although we are completely astonished that these snake oil salesmen didn’t slap together the cheapest toxic chemicals and industrial-grade skin dyes available on earth, we can’t imagine it’s actually “good for your skin” either. Do you want to find out?

(WWD)

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  • acorn

    The Kardadashians need self palm until they pass out.