• Tue, Apr 2 2013

Why Being 32 Is Better Than Being 22

You’ve probably already seen Taylor Swift’s video for “22″ but have you seen this one for being 32? No? Here are both of them so you can grasp the subtle differences in the ages.

This is 22:

This is 32:

32 sounds way, way better. Way better.

Just so we can compare, what do you get when you’re 22?

  • Breakfast at midnight
  • Hipster attire (large glasses, maybe? Large, wholly unnecessary glasses?)
  • Very crowded bars
  • Severe sleep deprivation
  • Confusion, loneliness (possibly related to the sleep deprivation)
  •  It seems like a lot of dancing? A whole ton of dancing.
  • People that are bad news

Meanwhile, at 32 you get…

  • A dentist, maybe! A partner who supports you going out and finding a dentist (I just found a dentist I like, and it is the thing I am most proud of this month, maybe).
  • Xanax and wine!
  • Tiny little dinner parties
  • A job! Which you go to.
  • Sweatpants
  • A really fantastic relationship with your mom, who you now think is, “Super cool.”
  • A copy of 50 Shades of Grey, for which you have some kind of feelings
  • A cat!
  • Chinese food
  • A delicious block night cheese (I think it’s gouda).

I’m sorry, but, taking all that into consideration, how could anybody prefer to be 22? Bars crowded with cool people are fun essentially 0% of the time, while cuddling with cats is fun almost always. Did you see that block of gouda? It looks delicious. I’m going to go off and make a cheese sandwich right now, but it will not be nearly as exciting as the one in that video.

 

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  • Sean

    The other good part of 32 is you start carrying an umbrella. I love my umbrella. It’s so much more enjoyable being 30-something and dry than 22 and walking around sopping wet like an idiot.

    • http://twitter.com/JenAshleyWright Jennifer Wright

      Having an umbrella is so great. I have four umbrellas, and one is all tiny and folded up in my purse. Its name might or might not be “Egbert.”

    • Sean

      I bet you’d find out for sure if you asked politely. Umbrellas can be quite shy and quickly put-off if you’re too forward.

  • Michelle

    I’ll be 32 this year. Another awesome thing is that now, when I do go to bars with friends (after work, where I make money), I can afford to buy my own drinks, even the fancy, expensive kind.

    Also, people start miraculously overpaying when we split checks at dinner instead of always coming up short a few bucks like when you’re in your early 20s. I used to be like, “okay, we are covering the check and tax, but we don’t have enough for tip. Who didn’t put in enough?” Now, I’m like, “whoa, someone put in way too much, the waiter is getting a 50% tip!”

    • Sean

      That still happens to me. I don’t associate with those people less, I’m just experienced enough now to know when to ask for separate bills. :)

  • Eileen

    This reminds me of that How I Met Your Mother episode where Marshall feels lame because he goes to wine tastings and B&Bs with Lily and couple friends instead of nightclubs with Ted and Barney, and Ted explains that he hates clubbing and desperately wants to be part of a “boring” couple like Marshall and Lily, but he can’t because he’s still looking for the right woman. Maybe it’s just me, but when I first heard “22,” it seemed more like, “Let’s psych ourselves up” than “This is genuinely what I want to be doing.”

    • http://twitter.com/JenAshleyWright Jennifer Wright

      No part of that song sounds fun.

  • Cate

    I am twenty two, but I have all the things the lady who writes about being 32 has. Does this mean I have youth AND wisdom, in addition to fun? I think so.
    Also I have an umbrella.

  • CM

    Jennifer, I always feel like I pick on you when I comment on your stuff. I think you’re smart and hilarious though. But aren’t you like 26? Go sit in the Taylor Swift corner!

    Pluuus, Taylor is eating a giant sheet cake with a plastic fork. 22 wins with that.