Amid all the discussion of Kate Upton as the average, predictable bro’s fantasy girlfriend, we seem to have lost track of an important question: who actually does get to date Kate Upton? Some people might not want to know, as that destroys the notion that she is some kind of Frankenbabe created by science to love only you, but it’s important to remember that she is a human woman with predictable desires of her own.
Or not, depending how you view her latest pairing. Shortly after her break up from baseball player Justin Verlander, Kate Upton is reportedly dating none other than P. Diddy, the artist formerly known as Sean “Puffy” Combs. According to The New York Daily News (the editors of which expressed their jealousy by using the most unflattering photo of Diddy they could find), Kate was spotted “sucking face” with Diddy at a club in Miami Beach on March 24th. “They were kissing, they weren’t hiding it,” an eyewitness said. Next, they were spotted on a hot dinner date this past Thursday at New York’s Bowery Hotel. “They were having dinner together,” an observant tipster spilled. (Is this code for “they were 69-ing in the lobby”?)
Much is being made of the fact that Diddy is 43 and Kate is only 23, but is that really so uncommon in the world of rich and famous people? I mean, I’ve seen guys a lot older and grosser than Diddy get with models of Kate Upton’s age. Rich dudes and models go together like champagne and caviar. And I’m going to sound like Jennifer now, but he has many qualities that probably appeal to Kate. Like money! Sure, she has a lot of it already, but rich people don’t think about money that way. More is always better. He will send all their children to private school! He rose up from humble beginning in the projects to completely dominate his field of choice! He is musically talented! He wears nice suits! He’s never been in the tabloids for treating his girlfriends badly, as far as I know. And despite the fact that he’s at an age when partying tends to catch up with you, he seems to be taking care of himself. He is kind of handsome, in an ugly sort of way. More importantly, he runs a program to help inner city youth and donated $1 million to victims of Hurricane Katrina. And judging from this picture I just downloaded of him carrying his child onto his yacht, he’s a great dad:
Damn, now I want to date him. In any case, P. Diddy is far from the worst partner Kate Upton could have chosen, and I wish them many weeks of happiness together.
(Via The NYDN)
UPDATE: Both parties deny that they are dating. Whatever!