Attention youngs! If you saw the glamorous, cosmopolitan lifestyle depicted on the popular HBO television show Girls and decided you want to
further ruin New YorkÂ find your inner voice by moving to hip, happening, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, now’s your chance. Someone has posted a real, honest-to-goodness Craigslist ad promising you a thoroughly depressing experience.
Just like Hannah Horvath herself, the ad manages to be both self-deprecating and obnoxious, like this section on your new roommates’ unique personalities:
-One gay roommate, with a penchant for backhanded compliments, adding the oh-so-needed bitchiness to a night in of getting drunk and re-watching 90s TV shows. He is everything you might want in a roommate: neurotic, judgmental, and certainly more attractive than you.
-One roommate named Hannah (for reals) with the fashion sense of a homeless kindergartener. She shares a number of wardrobe items with Lena Dunham, but also adds a flare of originality through such novelties as elephant pants. She self-identifies as an “artist.”
-Both of us graduated from college two years ago and moved to New York to “follow our careers.” Watch as we navigate the minefield that is our 20s and tackle the challenges of our generation, including: Is it appropriate to sleep with [person X], and would you judge me if I did? Which Thai restaurant should I order from tonight? And how does one install a coat rack onto an electrical panel? (But really if you know the answer to that last one, please drop us a line.)
I guess I see what they are trying to do here; by acknowledging that they already know theyÂ resemble the archetypes of boring you see on TV, they are preempting anyone who might call them out as such. “There’s nothing you can say about me that I haven’t already said about myself!” Maybe they’re perfectly lovely people who are just not good at jokes. Or maybe, just maybe, they know they should try harder to be less like TV characters we are not even supposed to like, but they are lazy, so they made this ad instead.
The most offensive thing about it, though, is the price, because $1,500 for a 3BR roommate situation is much of the reason why actual cool people have been fleeing Williamsburg in recent years. I promised not to tell anyone where they’re going.
PS: This whole blog post may or not, in turn, be a smokescreen for how I moved to Brooklyn six years ago and am hence probably part of the problem.