Earlier today, we told a friend we couldn’t hang out later because we’d be covering theÂ 2013 MTV Movie Awards ceremony. “MTV Movie Awards?” she said, flabbergasted. “That’s still a thing?” And so it is, friends. So it is.
And so, this evening, we’re liveblogging the MTV Movie Awards red carpet. We’ll be updating with our wisecracks as fast as we can keep up with the photo databases, so: check back, refresh often and laugh with us.
Welcome to the world’s only awards ceremony with worse fashion than the Grammys.
Bella Thorne is our first victim, sadly. The earrings are a bizarre match for her flesh suit, printed clutch and… whatever you call those shoes. We’d say she’s dressed like AnnaLynne McCord, circa that dark period a few years ago when AnnaLynne McCord achieved marginal relevance.
As for the fashion, she looks like a mannequin in the prom section at CachĂ©Â with less realistic hair.
Yeah, yeah, we’re sick of beige patent pumps, but we’ll let it slide because we really love how she didn’t slather her entire body with Lohan-grade tanner.
Speaking of Lohan-grade tanner, Snooki’s Jersey ShoreÂ co-starÂ Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola did her best Kardashian impression. Remember when we went to her sweatpants fashion show and it was exactly like Conrad’s Heart of Darkness?