How To Make Sure You Do Not Accidentally Swallow A $5,000 Diamond

tiffany ring

Those of you who do not love diamonds will love this story about accidental diamond eating! Or not. I don’t know. It depends on how much you love colonoscopies.

Jezebel reports that at a recent fundriaser in Tampa,

At the event, women could purchase a flute of champagne for $20. Most had cubic zirconias in the bottom of their glasses, but one had a round brilliant cut diamond appraised at $5,000, into one champagne flute.

Tucker was chugging on her bubbly when she accidentally swallowed her stone. Assuming she didn’t have the diamond (what are the odds?!), she kept quiet about her mistake. However, as the lunch went on, and nobody else came forth with the diamond, she was forced to come clean.

“She said she swallowed what was in her glass,” said event organizer Joy Pierson, “but as luck would have it, she was scheduled for a colonoscopy in two days.”

That certainly was lucky!

However, I think this should be a reminder to all of us. Just as you should live every week like it’s Shark Week, you should drink from all glasses and eat from everything as though there might be diamonds in it. Just, five or six diamonds in everything. Enough to make this ring yourself.

So, the next time a barrista gives you a cup of coffee, sip it tentatively. When you get to the end, politely inquire about the whereabouts of the diamonds. If they say “there were no diamonds” fling that cup at their head, for you are a sore loser.

Picture via Tiffany and Co 

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    • http://www.facebook.com/magda.nunez2 Magda Nunez

      The thing I most enjoyed about this was the picture. Way to stay true to your word. I’m assuming that this is the single band version of the engagement ring you so dearly covet?

    • anna

      why the fuck werebthere diamonds real or fake in the champagne?