Stop Freaking Out About Farrah Abraham’s ‘Sex Tape’


Last month, we brought you the news that Teen Mom‘s Farrah Abraham and James Deen had shot a porn. While it certainly seemed like an odd combination, which we noted at the time, it wasn’t a particularly big story. People have sex all the time; sometimes, people are paid for it. Millions and millions of folks, myself included, watch a fair amount of porn. Provided the people involved are consenting adults, everything is a-okay! So why is the Internet blowing up with judgment at Abraham getting a lucrative pornography deal with Vivid Entertainment after her “sex tape” (i.e. budgeted, professionally produced pornographic film) was leaked.

Vivid will soon release the film, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom (the porn world lacks creativity when it comes to titles), and Abraham sounded pretty happy about it in a statement released yesterday:

“I am happy with the seven figure settlement I have reached, with who I feel to be the best adult entertainment company in the industry, Vivid. This is a risk for me to take, however I feel comfortable having given the rights to Vivid, a company I know can handle the media and press surrounding my sexuality.

“I am very pleased with the outcome and to have this opportunity to be an entrepreneur in another unexpected light in my life. I look forward to my future goals of completing my Masters degree, focusing on being a great mother for my daughter as well as many other culinary business endeavors in the future.”

Cool, so she’s doing some porn, getting money and then plans on getting a graduate degree so she can do cooking stuff. As any Gloss reader already knows, we don’t take issue with porn nor the people who star in it, so this sounded like a solid plan to me. According to others, however, she is a terrible human being who doesn’t deserve to have a child.

When an article was posted on the NY Daily News, as well as plenty of other sites where readers can comment, people got a bit vicious. While this is to be expected whenever a woman — especially a mother and especially especially a teen mother (though she is now 21) — it is still totally inappropriate. Observe:



Ah, yes, the porn equivalent to the “you’ll regret those tattoos when you’re old and saggy” argument.


And hopefully, one day this commenter will be able to read, as well.


“Steady, honest work?” I won’t even get into how much is wrong with this comment.

Also, people who have been in the porn industry who were taken seriously in their careers: Jackie Chan, Cameron Diaz, Matt LeBlanc, Sasha Grey, David Duchovny, Marilyn Monroe, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jane Fonda, Colin Farrell…


She should be so lucky to make a measly seven grand in the course of an hour!


And then MORALITY came knockin’ on the door. Literally. Morality. Somebody is calling themselves that.



Uh, is she? Because last I checked, her daughter wasn’t in the room for the porn’s filming (which would be child abuse). That’s like saying a lawyer who’s defending a terrible criminal is dragging his or her child into that courtroom simply by doing their job, even if the kid never knows anything about the case.


…And then sometimes comments were just totally irrelevant.

In general, the sentiment was very slut shame-y, though some people defended her. I think  it’s fascinating just how angry people get at the idea of young women, including mothers, participating in pornography. This whole “she’s going to be poor and worn out and disgusting because SEX” bullshit is ridiculous. Yes, plenty of people who are in the porn industry aren’t rich, but plenty of people in retail, food service, blogging (HI), education, construction and innumerable other job fields aren’t rich, either. Should we really assume we know where her career is going, her exact reasons behind it and how it impacts her child? I may not think Abraham is the best role model in the world (she was pretty bratty on Teen Mom, though to be fair, she was a teenager), but I certainly don’t think she’s the worst, either. In fact, her casual, optimistic public take on sex is something that actually makes me like her better than ever before.

Side note: she is killing it with that bathing suit. Is it impractical and a little tacky? Yes. Would I wear it to a party with high-waisted shorts and giant heels for a ridiculous/awesome 70s look? Hell yes.

Photo: KVS,

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    • Tania

      My theory that I just came up with right now: people who think sex diminishes women (it’s always women, isn’t it?) must feel that when having sex, the penis steals a little bit of a woman’s soul. So every new penis that penetrates a woman steals a little bit more of her eternal soul which means she is less of a person. It also explains why men are considered to be studs when they have more sex, because they are gaining more soul every time they stick their penis into a woman.

      Genius. My theory is infallible.

      • Samantha Escobar

        Once upon a time, I lost my soul (okay, I sold it). By this theory, if I get a strap-on, I should soon have a whole soul back after approximately 10 experiences. I like your theory!

        P.S. Can “whole soul” become a musical genre featuring whole grain eaters who really like James Brown?

      • Jessica

        Funny Story:
        The sex ed program at my high school actually drew this parallel for us symbolically. Some lady that they had hired came into our gym-period assembly holding a handful of flowers and started ripping the petals off, one by one, saying that every person a girl sleeps with is one more petal she’ll never get back. Then she sang a song, a cappella, which ended in a very dramatic, “…and then there was nothing left,” with the bare stems in hand. I’m not kidding. I’m sure she meant well, but we just laughed and laughed.

      • Samantha Escobar

        OH MY GOD. Brilliant. Now she’s just given a whole lot of people flower fetishes.

      • Tania

        Haha. God, every time I hear about crazy US “sex ed,” I’m torn between laughing (because flower petals?!) and feeling sad (because teen pregnancy).

        Especially since our sex ed was actually educational.

    • Cee

      I really dont care if she did a sex tape, or anyone else for that matter, Im just not a fan of reality tv people and their constant need for attention, particularly the Teen Moms. MTV really exploited them.

    • JennyWren

      To be fair, doing porn IS a risk in our society because our society is pretty judgmental and hypocritical when it comes to sex. In a mature society I don’t think we would consider people as somehow intrinsically dirtied by their sex lives. People are sexual. Sex is a pretty common occurrence in the history of humankind. Why we have to act like it’s some kind of amazing/shocking revelation when a famous (or non-famous) person has their sex life become a public matter is beyond me.

    • RCIAG

      She didn’t “do” porn, she made what she wanted everyone to believe was a “sex tape.” Her people wanted James Deen, a pretty big name in porn nowadays, to pretend he was her boyfriend & that the tape was “leaked.”

      Do all the porn you want Farrah, but if you’re going to make this a career choice just do it & don’t apologize or make excuses.

      Also there’s only a few people on that list of yours that were actually REAL porn stars in the REAL porn industry who managed to get past the stigma of being in the “porn industry.” So saying they all got their start in the “porn industry” is relative. Some see nudes as art, some see ANY nudes as porn. To each his own.

      Duchovny & Le Blanc both did Red Shoe Diaries which was very soft core cable porn but certainly not X rated. If you’d consider RSD porn, then you’ve never seen REAL porn.

      Jackie Chan & Stallone did one each very, very early in their careers. I don’t know if that means they were porn stars, but they each did one porn to get started then realized that wasn’t the way into Hollywood & back then it really wasn’t.

      Arnold did nude pics for Mapplethorpe that ended up in a gay mag. They may have been porn but I don’t think most consider Mapplethorpe a pornographer (though I’m sure some do). Maybe back then, but now not as much.

      Cameron Diaz did S&M pics that were also filmed, she sued & won & the footage hasn’t seen the light of day. At least I’m sure she hopes it hasn’t. This being the internet it’s probably out there somewhere.

      Colin Farrell had an honest-to-goodness sex tape with his then Playmate girlfriend. Does that mean he’s part of the “porn industry?” Not in my book. Plus he’d already been established as a good, dramatic actor with a good career when the tape leaked.

      Marilyn may or may not have done one. Someone tried to sell a tape but I don’t know if it ever sold or if it was every truly authenticated. She certainly did nude photos & those are easily found. I’d guess she got her start in porn since Playboy was & is lumped under that banner but by today’s standards they’re pretty tame.

      Not sure about Jane Fonda, she has certainly been filmed & photographed nude but I wouldn’t say she got her start in the porn industry by any stretch of the imagination.

      The only person on that list that I’d consider a bonafide porn star who, for lack of a better description, is getting past her career in the porn industry is Sasha Grey. She’s also done mainstream stuff but from what I’ve heard she actually has some acting talent.

      • Samantha Escobar

        Yeah, dude, I’ve never seen any “real porn.” That’s what my browser history says, too, thanks to Google Incognito!

      • Auntie Griselda

        Thank you.

    • Jennifer Lynne

      I find reality TV much more abhorrent than pornography. Pornography is excellent. Reality TV is a hundred times shadier and more exploitative than porn.

      Most of the misconceptions people have about porn stars are baseless. I’ve worked on porn sets before, and the actors are always incredibly friendly and come across as *GASP* normal individuals. They just happen to be individuals who like sex and found a way to profit from it. In fact, the actors I’ve met on porn sets tend to be nicer and more open and inviting than actors on other types of sets. Pornography is not inherently degrading–it’s when the parties involved are not completely consenting adults that it becomes an awful thing.

      People love to project their own feelings about sex and sexuality on the people who have sex for a living (including other sex workers, such as prostitutes and strippers). On the whole, legitimate* porn is one of the safest varieties of sex work. There is mandatory STI testing (usually paid for by the companies), stringent work controls in place (how often do you have sex in an environment with OSHA standards?), and very few chances of having your partner hurt you in some unexpected way. But we’ve just got to make porn actors out to be these broken, hollow people because, if sex is wrong and shameful, then there must be emotional and spiritual consequences for having it, profiting from it, and hell, simply enjoying it. Our cultural attitudes about sex are largely still puritanical, especially when it comes to women taking charge of their sexuality. I noticed none of those comments (though I’m sure a few exist somewhere) even mention whether or not James Deen is going to end up washed up and ruining his future childrens’ lives.

      Most people choose to have sex. Most people enjoy the sex that they choose to have. If they choose to have that sex in front of a camera and earn money for doing what they love, more power to them. Porn is awesome. Yay porn!

      [*I write "legitimate" to mean the sort of porn that isn't produced in some guy's basement, but rather by a production company, which must adhere to industry standards.]

    • meteor_echo

      I don’t care that she shot porn. However, I hate her silly fucking lie that “oh, it was just a home sex tape”. Dude, really? HD quality AND you tried to sell it for 2 million bucks? Puh-fucking-lease. And French tips? GAH, classy.
      Also, she’s an adult and shouldn’t have dragged her parents into defending her sex tape. That was a shitty thing to do to them.

      • Auntie Griselda

        She’s a piece of shit, what do you expect ?

      • Jimmy

        I’d poke her, and Jimmy don’t poke shit.

    • Fatina Delbosco

      Sasha Grey creates an incredible masterpiece for Andrea Diprè!!!

    • sbd500

      Many people are going to watch it.
      It’s all over the news for a few weeks already and it has been announced by to be released at May 6th

    • Jimmy

      I’d fuck her