While I firmly believe than nearly every single competition show (American Idol, X-Factor, ANTM) exists solely for the purpose of making a lot of money and making the viewers at home feel better about themselves, almost never resulting in the success of individuals on the actual shows, I think their existences can easily be rationalized. Viewers love cheering for the underdog, booing for the worst ones and having another character (and they are characters) they ~*love to h8*~. But this new Thomas Blachman show out of Denmark has taken the cake on “terrible television for terrible people.”
Each episode of the show, simply titled Blachman, stars the Danish X-Factor judge, a weekly male guest and a woman. The premise: the woman strips down silently in front of the two men and they begin to critique her body. In her presence. On camera.
I wish I could find a GIF that adequately sums up how angry this makes me, but unfortunately, there are none. They would just involve me chopping tomatoes into halves in slow motion with a Beyonce Super Bowl Fierce face on.
In his interview with the Daily Mail, Blachman explains that he’s basically the Evian Water to our unquenchable ladythirst for criticism.
“I told them the entire idea of the show is to let men talk about the bodies of naked women while the woman is standing right in front of them.
“The female body thirsts for words. The words of a man. And they went for it.”
Author Knud Romer articulately explains that there is literally no purpose to this show other than to boost ratings via misogyny.
“The programs so-called intention of breaking down taboos or challenging stereotypes is rubbish.
“It’s more like a claustrophobic strip club which only serves to cement classic concepts of male dominance.
“Basically, things like this should have been able consigned to the scrap heap of history years ago.”
In response to the heavy criticism his fratboy hazefest has received, he makes himself out to be one of the single most undeservingly narcissistic human beings in the history of life, the universe and everything.
“Ungratefulness is the only thing that can really wear down the few geniuses who reside in our country.
“Remember, I am giving you something that you have never seen before. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”
Really? We’ve never seen anybody in the entire world criticize and shame women’s bodies in a public forum? Are you sure? Because here is…
- Film review body shaming
- Pregnant Kim Kardashian body shaming
- Teenager body shaming
- Adele, Adele, Adele
- Hypocritical body shaming
- Celebrity-on-celebrity body shaming
- Instagram body shaming
- First lady body shaming
- Newscaster body shaming
- Lena Dunham, Lena Dunham, Lena Dunham
But, you know, as long as you’re being so very ingeniously original, Mr. Blachman…shine on, you crazy, shiny-headed, totally original diamond.