There is an inadvertently hilarious, extremely earnest article on the EliteDaily – “The Voice of Gen-Y” – detailing “20 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make In Your 20′s.” It’s by Adam Hayes, who, in addition to being “A true innovator of journalistic delivery“, seemingly just went through a terrible break-up. He gives all sorts of advice. One key mistake is thinking “This is the right time to fall in love.” He explains.
While all of your friends might be doing it, don’t fall into the trap of getting into a relationship. Sure it seems like the right thing to do, but your 20s are entirely too crucial for your personal growth for you to be focusing on fulfilling the wishes of another individual. Not only does it make you complacent with where you are in life, but it makes your boring. When your business is at stake and your future is resting on your shoulders, the last thing you need is to be bogged down by an insecure lover rushing you home.
Expensive women and cheap thrills coupled with the expensive sneakers should not be on the list of your needs. Setting the foundation for your business and team is far more important than updating your wardrobe and chasing sex. Distinguish between what you want and what you actually need. Make sure your priorities are in tact or you will lose your track.
You say you want to make some mistakes? I’ve got twenty you can make right now. I noticed that there were a lot of really sexy pictures accompanying Adam’s article so I built those in too.
1. Get on a train, or a subway car, or whatever mode of transportation you have where you are. Ride. Just ride it until it stops. Ride for hours. You will not like the experience. It will not be what they call “fun.” But you’ll see the sun come up, or the sun go down, and you’ll feel a sense of vastness. Then you’ll turn around, and go home and wonder why you ever did that. It was so you can know what it feels like to go home. It’s still dumb, though; don’t spend $2.50 on a metrocard for that.
2. Give witchcraft one last shot. Yeah, sure, it’s going to be disappointing. This is going to end in heartbreak, again, like it always does. You’re never going to summon Beetlejuice. He’s not a restaurant host. But, dude, what if it works? It never works. (But what if it does?)
3. Steal a golf cart. From anyplace. Once I tried to steal a golf cart from Sir Ivan’s Castle, where apparently “The bathrooms were dusted with glitter and cocaine residue.“ I wouldn’t know about that, but I do know that Ivan owned fifty golf carts and there were keys in them. I thought, “Maybe I could actually do this.” I thought maybe no one would notice. Obviously this was a mistake, and one that could be possibly classified as auto theft. I’m not sure, I don’t watch those Fast and Furious movies. This mistake wasn’t even remotely successful. A security guard stopped me as soon as I was in the golf cart about to make my getaway. I kind of tried to play it off like I was not fully intending to take this golf cart and ride it as far as it would go, onto the open road, into the glittering night. Now, I pray only that you will succeed where I failed.
4. Truman Capote said that going to Venice was like eating an entire box of chocolates all in one go. Was that Truman? Sounds like him. Anyhow, going to Venice is pretty great. You should try eating an entire box of chocolates all in one go. See how that works out.
5. Just ascribe everything you feel like saying to Truman Capote. Seriously, anything you want to say, just claim you’re “pretty sure” Truman Capote said it, or that it “sounds like him.” He alienated everyone, so no one is ever, ever going to call you on it, unless you give yourself away.