Look, there are a lot of unrealistic aspects toÂ Game of Thrones.Â Not the bits about how there are dragons and zombies wandering around left and right. I am entirely able to accept the possibility of a world with dragons and zombies and wolf people and whatever else is inÂ Game of Thrones.Â
I’m less able to accept some of the smaller oddities. This reminds me of Chuck Klosterman‘s essay onÂ Saved by The BellÂ where he talked about how he was entirely able to accept that Zack Morris could stop time at will, but not that any teenagers would be good friends with their high school principal. In the same way, I do not believe that, even in a world populated by zombies and dragons, people would pause to give completely uninterrupted monologues on the nature of power every few days. I think that would get old.
I also don’t believe that, if a tribal queen was giving birth to dragons in a burning pyre over the course of the night, her entire tribe would fall asleep during the process (Daenerys Targaryen emerges from her pyre the next morning and theÂ entire tribe is snoozing.Â There wasn’t one guy who wanted to stay up for 6 hours to watch a dragon get born? I’ve stayed up until daybreak reading Twitter).
And I really, really, really do not buy for a single second that male virgins are the best ever at sex. I don’t believe it no matter how hardÂ Game of ThronesÂ wants to push that idea.
They are pushing it, incidentally.
Tyrion Lannister‘s young page who has been dismissed by everyone as “being a bit simple” is rewarded for saving Tyrion’s life – pretty belatedly, as it was last season – with an all expense paid trip to the local brothel. Tyrion leaves money to pay for three prostitutes’ time. Â The page returns with all the money telling Tyrion and his rascal-y friend (I don’t know why this sort of devolves into a bad buddy comedy) that the prostitutes enjoyed themselves so much they would not accept his money. Huh! Huh. Right.
Meanwhile, the non-simple John Snow who has been kidnapped by a tribe of Northern people seems to be the best sex some Northern girl has ever experienced in her entire life. This point is made over and over, as is the point that he was previously a virgin. Why? Why was it the best? Apparently, he “does a thing with his tongue.”
First of all, no. No, this falls into the “I do not believe that teenagers have a close personal friendship with their high school principal” school of thought.
Look, we know exactly why they’re doing this. They’re doing it for the same reason that discussions about power are often accompanied by lesbian sex scenes in the background. They’re doing this because there is still some notion that this is a fantasy show for pimply teenage boys who… may not have had sex yet.