Sex Contracts Are On The Rise

sex contract

Isn’t it great to enter into a partnership with someone whose needs seem to be compatible with your own? To just feel that, “Yes, we are embarking on this adventure called life together and we feel roughly the same way regarding, say, neatness, and eating preferences, and how often we like to have sex.” I guess this is… the upside to not having arranged marriages, pretty much. A really major upside is feeling like you are marrying someone you think you have the same basic needs as.

Hah! Fooled you, you loony romantic. You should get everything in a contract, because no sooner will you settle down with that person than they will reveal that they actually only like to have sex once a year.

Sex contracts are seriously on the rise. According to The Daily Mail:

Attorneys say that more and more married and unmarried couples are signing relationship contracts that detail how often they will have sex.

The so-called ‘lifestyle clauses’ can include how often the couple is intimate, how they spend their leisure time and spell out what defines cheating, among other things.

Our own Amanda Chatel is all for it over at YourTango, and writes:

When I first told Olivier that should I move to Paris, I would like a contract stating that we’d have sex 5-6 times a day, it was a joke. But then I really thought about it. Why shouldn’t I make demands on which we’d both have to agree? I’m about to give up my life in New York City for him; I deserve to get some specifics in return.

From how many times a day we’ll have sex, to picking up the New York Times for me every Sunday, to a guaranteed trip to Morocco, to him doing all the cooking — these are just a few things that will be going in our contract. It may seem absurd, and at first even I acknowledged it was, (although I must admit, I thought it very creative), then I realized I was not alone.

I’m pretty sure no one can have sex five to six times a day except some people in Ancient Rome.

Other than that, I think it’s hard to plan out the specifics of a relationship in quite that much detail. Things could change! People’s needs change and evolve over time. But, hell, if having a contract is something that makes you feel safer going into a relationship, maybe it’s a good idea.

Picture via Getty

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    • Amanda Chatel

      I like to believe I can physically have sex 5-6 times a day… despite the fact that my gyno would probably advise against it.

      • Stephanie

        I had sex 5 times in one day recently. While on the one hand it was fun, on the other hand NEVER AGAIN. Certainly not every day. Once or twice a day is good enough for me. Three times on Saturdays.

        Looks like I should email the boyfriend with our new sex contract…

      • Breezy

        My best friend would absolutely have sex 5-6 times a day if she had her way. When she was with her last boyfriend it was sometimes 7 or 8 times a day. She actually called me crying because they had only had sex like 4 times a day that week and she thought he might be cheating on her. And he was, actually, so… The moral of the story is to give your vagina an occasional rest.

    • Eileen

      Five or six times a day, every day, forever? So if I’m about to get my period, and I’m having cramps, and I really want nothing near my abdomen or genitals, I still have to do it OR GET SUED FOR BREACH OF CONTRACT? Ew. If dude is having ED issues because of medication/stress/booze, does he still have to attempt to get it in, briefly, at least five times in one day, just so as to be in compliance? EW.

      Obviously you should talk about these things in advance, but if you need a contract that your partner will continue be a good partner, maybe not the best relationship. (I should note that I am totally for prenups, because a marriage is a contract anyway, and if you have never broken up with your partner you don’t know if your partner is a good ex-partner. But sex contracts sound kind of ridiculous.)