As you may know, Julianne Moore recently committed a grievous fashion offense when she allowed herself to be photographed on the Cannes red carpet with her toes hanging off the sides of her shoes. The horror, the horror!
Since then, Julianne Moore has gone on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon to address all the toe-related controversy in the most perfect and amazing way possible. Apparently, the shoes seemed a bit narrow, but she thought she’d be okay for the length of the red carpet. But then she pivoted, and disaster struck. “I didn’t feel it, I didn’t feel a thing!” she said of the incident she dubbed “toemageddon.” Then: “I did what any reasonable person would do. I needed to prevent this from happening again, so I cut my toes off.” And she presented her “toes” to Jimmy in a little box, with nail polish on them and everything, and everyone laughed and laughed.
Case closed, right? WRONG. Looking around at the various blogs that have posted this story, I’ve seen a lot of comments from people who are just not ready to let it go. “This is not the first incident for toe maggedon,” writes a commenter named “Valcaious” who seems to think Julianne Moore did this to piss her (or him) off. ”She has gone to several red carpet events with her toes protruding out of her open toe shoes… it looks very bad. Maybe she should not wear open toe shoes and just wear pumps.” Consider this your final warning, Moore.
Others seems to think she is using her skills as an actress to lie to us about not being able to feel her toes falling off of her shoes. ”‘I couldn’t even feel it’ yeah, right. Julianne is an actress..” says a reader of The Daily Mail. Time to stop making excuses, you sick freak: you are doing it because you like the way it feels.
It seems these people will not be appeased until she cuts her toes off for real, because preventing another toemageddon is a national priority on par with preventing another 9/11. Only then will these cries of anguish cease. Or we could always just go with plan B: cutting off the fingers of catty internet commenters.
(Via The Cut)